Remember Me, My Love?
by bluebuttonsx
Summary: Bella is hit by a car and loses all memory of the supernatural. Will she carry on with her forgotten edward or will jacob see this as his opportunity to win her over? It gets better as it goes on - don't let the sumary put you off! T just in case
1. Chapter 1

Unfortunately, My old account was hacked, I'm simply reposting.

Hi this is my first fanfic so please read and review. Tell me of you think the idea is worth carrying on with. Thanks :)

Chapter one

Narrator POV

Bella stood on the sidewalk waiting for the light to flash green so she could cross. Edward was on a hunting trip so she was trying to fill in the hours before he returned. She had been shopping for a new book – it would be a nice surprise for Edward to find her reading something that wasn't by Jane Austen or one of the Bronte sisters. She smiled to herself at that thought.

The lights still hadn't changed. Bella was feeling impatient. It was a long drive from Part Angeles back to Forks – especially in her old truck.

Finally, Bella Grew so tired of waiting for the never-ending glare of red to change that she stepped onto the road. There had been no cars for ages.

_Why didn't I cross before? _She thought, her body shaking with silent laughter.

She had almost reached the kerb and suddenly, before she had time to turn her head, CRASH!

Everything went black.

EPOV

I stared at the lifeless Bella in front of me.

_She's not going to die. _I told myself for the thousandth time.

The heart monitor was still beating steadily. I pressed my hand against hers and after a few seconds, I took it into my own. She was still warm. Good.

Terror and desperate sadness had overcame me when I received that phone call from Carlisle approximately six hours ago. I replayed the events in me head again…

I had just caught a huge mountain lion – the most impressive one I had in months. My mind was set on Bella and if she was okay at home. Emmett was getting annoyed.

"She's okay Edward – It's only the one day!" He thought to me, his inner voice irritated.

I nodded in return and as I did so, my phone began to ring. I checked the caller I.D. and opened it. Carlisle was on the phone.

"Edward, you have to come home now." He said, his tone urgent.

Why was he talking like that?

"Okay. What's happened?" I asked. I was full of worry had something happened to one of us… or even worse, Bella?

"It's Bella," my eyes widened and Carlisle took a deep breath, "She's hurt and in hospital she's going to be okay but..."

I shut the phone before he could finish his sentence. I was already back at the car and starting the engine.

That was the longest drive I have ever taken. I was so worried about the love of my life that even I with my superhuman reflexes, had to swerve to miss cars!

I arrived a the hospital an hour later to find that Bella had been moved into a private room. I saw her lying in the bed an immediately ran to kneel beside her.

Just as I was pulling out of my thoughts, Bella moved slightly. She stirred gently. I smiled. She was waking up.

BPOV

I could hear a quiet and continuous beep in the background. My head hurt like hell. What had happened? Where was I? I tried to remember what had happened but nothing came to my head. I was starting to feel scared,

I felt something icy pressing against my hand. Why my hand submerged in ice? I began to wonder if I had fallen over again – it wasn't unlikely with my coordination. It took me all of a few seconds to realise that the icy thing wasn't touching my hand – it was holding it! What was this place?

I began to open my eyes, the light blinding me at first. I was in a hospital. Typical – what had I put my family through this time?

I looked down to my hand to see another holding onto it – it was odd how cold it was. And how pale. I followed the arm towards a man's face. He was beautiful – he looked like a god!

I must still be unconscious, I thought. Why else would such a beautiful person be waiting in hospital with me and holding my hand!

He smiled when my eyes met his. What an amazing dream this was. HE leant down and pressed his lips to my forehead. They were cold too. And hard. I blinked opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off.

"It's okay my dearest Bella. You're going to be fine. I'm here for you," He said (no, sang) in a smooth, velvety voice.

I blinked twice and spoke before he could stop me.

"Who are you?" I whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

I blinked in horror at Bella. What did she mean? Of course she knew who I was. She was the love of my life and I was hers. Simple as that. How could she_forget_ me? It wasn't possible.

I decided to laugh it off – it _had_ to be a mistake.

"What do you mean?" I chuckled "Silly Bella."

"How do you know my name? Who are you?" She said hesitantly. She looked a little scared.

I didn't know how to reply. I truly didn't. After everything we had been through together how could she forget? I couldn't comprehend it.

"I am… Edward Cullen," I replied slowly, "I am your, for want of a better word, boyfriend."

I swallowed as a look of shock crossed her thin face. She looked at me with a perplexed expression inhabiting her beautiful features.

"I think there has been a mistake," she whispered while blushing scarlet, "I've… err… never had a boyfriend…"

She trailed off as she spoke the last line.

She had forgotten me. I didn't know how but I could tell from her expression that she wasn't joking. My Bella couldn't lie and she wasn't a good actress. I began to tremble.

I took out my phone and dialled Carlisle's number.

"Carlisle?" I said as he picked up, "Bella has woken up but I think something has happened… something bad"

I shut the phone and seconds later he appeared through the door.

"What's happened, Doctor?" Bella asked sounding confused, "I feel fine but this… this man is telling me we're… err… dating. I've never seen him before." She ended her sentence quietly, the blush creeping back into her face.

_What? Edward is she joking? _Carlisle thought

I shook my head in response to his silent question. "I think she must have hit her head pretty hard." I managed to croak. The trembles were beginning to overcome me now I was surprised that I could even make any noise at all.

Carlisle looked shocked as my usually calm façade was swept away by my fears. I left the room quickly. I knew that by now I would be crying if I could.

Tearless sobs wracked my body as I stepped into the corridor. I sunk to the ground and watched as people's feet passed me by. I could hear their thoughts as they past.

_What's wrong with him? _Thought one man.

_Blimey, he's GORGEOUS!_ _Maybe I could help cheer him up… _I glared at the blonde woman as she walked past.

I continued to sit in my sorrow until Carlisle left Bella's room. He looked down at me and sighed sadly before joining me on the floor.

"What has happened?" I asked hurriedly.

"She has received an extensive blow to the head and an unforeseen side affect has been amnesia. She has lost all memory of us Cullens. It's very unusual, son. She remembers coming to Forks and being friends with Angela and Jessica and… Jacob but she remembers nothing of us or the supernatural. I don't know what you are going to do but the effects, of course, may just be temporary… although that is uncommon. I know you'll think of something, Edward. Just don't give up." At that he rose from the floor and went to check his next patient.

I decided that I might not have been able to handle another trip to Bella's room just yet so I ran home. As I entered the house everyone was assembled in the living room, solemn looks on all their faces. Alice was in the corner looking completely distraught. Even Jasper's calming and happy waves were ineffective - the way I felt would be impossible to reverse.

I felt like I had lost my only love completely. She had no memory of me at all. A few months ago this is what I had wanted for her. Fate had a cruel way of dealing with things.

**BPOV**

As the beautiful man, who I now knew to be called Edward, stalked out of the room I sighed. I had just humiliated myself. _Why _did I admit to that God that I had never had a boyfriend? What was he going to think of me? I felt completely stupid.

The doctor was as beautiful and as pale as Edward. He introduced himself as Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I guess it made sense that they were related. Dr. Cullen appeared to be in his early twenties but spoke the words of a much older man. He was definitely wise and mature for his age.

"Good morning, Bella. I'm glad to see you've woken up. I'm going to run a few tests to see how you are. To see if there has been any damage to your brain from the accident. I don't know if there is but it is a hospital procedure."

I nodded and then something hit me, "Where's my Dad?"

"Your Dad is on his way. He went home to get a change of clothes – you've been out for quite a long time dear." He chuckled although I could not see anything amusing about the situation.

The doctor proceeded to ask me several questions, mostly memory related, and nodded as he noted down my answers. His expression gave nothing away.

Finally, he turned to me and said "Miss Swan, it appears that you have received some memory loss as a result of the accident. It's nothing life threatening and it may only be temporary. I will run some tests to see if we can find out if there is any lasting damage. I think we will have to keep you in the hospital for a few more days though."

Oh crap, I hate hospitals.

"I feel fine though, doctor," I whined

"That was a very hard bang you received Miss Swan." He smiled than turned to leave.

I noticed that when he left he turned and sat outside the door. He sat there for a while and then stood up, the beautiful, bronze-haired boy rose with him and they parted, walking in opposite directions. I felt foolish again when I saw his face; memories of our last discussion swamped my mind.

Why had he waited with me? I had never seen this beautiful stranger before. Maybe he was something I had forgotten. I couldn't be sure though. I was a regular at the hospital with my clumsy streak – maybe we had met once before.

I continued to think of Edward Cullen until I heard a knock at the door. I was presumed it was the doctor so I called for my visitor to come in.

The door opened slowly; as if the person opening it was scared about what they would see on the other side. Eventually, the person stepped over the threshold and revealed himself. It was Charlie – my dad.

I smiled as he rushed over to my bedside and hugged me. He set a box of chocolate onto the nightstand and returned my smile.

"Oh God, Bella don't you ever put me through that again! I thought I taught you how to cross a road!" he scolded playfully.

I laughed and he looked back towards the door.

"What?" I asked

He smiled and looked again. I could not tell that there was another figure standing behind the frosted glass. Charlie chuckled.

"You were the one that was so desperate to see her! Come in – she won't bite!" He called to the figure.

Again, the door began to open, even more slowly than when Charlie opened it. I could see that the person was very tall – so tall he had to stoop to come through the frame. As the hunched figure straightened inside my room I could see he had russet coloured skin. His hair was long and pulled into a ponytail. I knew immediately who this was.

It was Jacob Black.


	3. Chapter 3

BPOV

Jacob smiled sheepishly and stepped closer towards me. I beamed up at him. He noticed me smiling and rushed over to hug me gently.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Bells," He whispered into my hair. I smiled again and beamed up at him.

"Nice to see you, Jake," I said, really meaning it. This time, it was him who smiled.

"So where's the bl- I mean Edward?" He asked with deliberate casualness.

"Edward?" I replied, feeling more confused than ever. So I _did_ know that beautiful boy!

"Yes, Edward. Your _boyfriend_." He hissed the last word.

"So he _is_ my boyfriend," I said under my breath.

"What was that Bells?" interjected Charlie.

"Oh. Nothing."

"Okay. Bella, honey, I need some coffee. Is it okay if I leave you two here for a little bit?"

Jake and I nodded and Charlie exited the room.

"What was that before? Not knowing who I meant when I said Edward? I thought he was supposed to be the love of your life," Jacob asked bitterly. To his surprise I began to cry.

I tried my best to keep quiet but the tears streamed down my face and within seconds, I was bawling into his shoulder.

"Ssh, Bella, ssh!" he hushed, stroking my hair.

It took me a few minutes to calm down enough to speak.

"Tell me what's wrong? Did _he_ do something to you?" Jake growled.

I looked into his eyes and sighed. I took a deep breath and began to talk.

"No! Jake, Edward hasn't done anything… I think. I don't really know! Oh, Jake! I'm so confused! I don't remember anything! I know you and I can remember everything about you, and school and Charlie and home but I woke up and saw this… this Edward person sitting next to me. He told me we were dating but I didn't believe him! _I've never seen him before, Jake! _Then you told I was dating him and I just… don't know what to do!"

To my surprise. Jake was smiling triumphantly. I glared at him and his face immediately wiped blank.

"What are you thinking about doing, Bells?"

"I don't _know_! I mean, I can't date someone I don't know, right?"

"No!" He replied too quickly. I stared quizzically at him.

"I mean," he began again, "you can't date him if you don't _know_ him. It wouldn't be fair to either of you."

I nodded in agreement.

I was glad I could still remember Jake. The doctor had told me I was suffering from memory loss – God knows what else I had forgotten!

I decided to start a random conversation.

"What have you been up to lately then Jake?" I asked hesitantly

Jacob's face seemed to glow as he replied, "Nothing much - just stuff for the pack-,"

"Pack?" I interrupted, "You sound as if you think you and your friends are a bunch of dogs!"

I laughed but stopped abruptly when I saw the shocked and mystified look on his face. What now?

"You mean…" he seemed to stop what he was saying mid-sentence, "haha yeah. I never thought of that! It's just what we've been calling ourselves lately."

He laughed loudly but it sounded rather fake.

JacobPOV

_What?_

She couldn't remember the pack?

This was all going so well. First she wakes up and can't remember the stupid bloodsuckers and doesn't want to date him and second she remembers everything about me. Apart from the fact that I frequently transform into a wolf. That could make a relationship difficult.

I decided that it was best to continue the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"You mean…" I was going to ask if she remembered that I was a wolf but thought it not to be such a good idea if she didn't have the idea of vampires to soften her up, "haha yeah. I never thought of that!" Lie, "It's just what we've been calling ourselves lately."

I forced a laugh and the whole time I was thinking about what I nearly did to her just seconds ago. I couldn't tell her about my other life. She might flip. Although she did handle the fact that Edward was a vampire pretty well. Then again, I guess it was pretty obvious that he was different.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. At that second the stinking bloodsucker entered the room. Bella grabbed my hand.

Edward noticed this small gesture and stared in what could only be described as horror. A smug expression arranged itself on my face. This too did not go unnoticed. He glared at me and I smiled innocently.

He turned his attention to Bella.

"Bella, do you mind if I borrow Jacob for a moment?"

"Y-you know Jacob?" she stuttered. He smiled at her.

"Yes I do. May I please speak to him for a moment?"

"Um, yes." She said, "if that's okay with him, of course." She added hastily.

I nodded, not taking my eyes off the filthy leech. He gestured to the door and I motioned forwards. With one last look at Bella, I left the room.

I stopped outside the door and waited for him to come to me. How I wished I could phase right there in the hospital and bite his head off. He took a deep breath, preparing to speak but I beat him to it.

"What do you want, bloodsucker?" I spat.

"H-how?" was all he could say.

I could tell that he had been using all his efforts to keep himself together around Bella. The thought made my insides feel warm and happy.

"How what?" I decided to play dumb.

"How does she remember you?" he mumbled desperately.

"I don't know do I? She just seemed to know who I was remember everything about me – well, almost everything."

"What do you mean _almost_ anything?"

"Well, she may have forgotten the little fact that I'm actually a werewolf." I grimaced.

"Well, that explains things a bit."

"Explains what?" I asked, irritated by the fact he wasn't sharing his knowledge.

"Carlisle said to me that she had forgotten the supernatural and I guess that's right. You see, she knows two sides of you: the wolf side and the human side. She remembers _Jacob_ not _Jacob the wolf_. Whereas I am entirely supernatural. 100 Monster. 100 forgettable."

"Well, some of us aren't that lucky," I said in a offhand manner.

This angered him. Result. His fists tightened and he stormed out of the building. Good riddance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**EPOV**

"Some of us aren't that lucky," the dog said.

How dare he.

I could hear his thoughts. He was happy that he was angering me. He was going to use this opportunity to try and take Bella, I knew it. It wasn't fair.

The image of Bella in his arms came to my mind. My fists tightened as I thought about him loving her the way I loved her. I rose and ran away from the hospital. I had to control myself.

I made my way home as fast as I could. The second I reached the house I shouted as loud as I could.

"ALICE!"

She was downstairs at my side before I could blink. She could see that Bella wouldn't be able to remember her – it hurt her almost as much as it hurt me. I didn't think that was possible.

"Yes, Edward," She said in an unusually gloomy tone.

"Alice, I need your help. You have to go to the hospital. Make her remember. She _can't_ forget me, she just can't." I sank to my knees and began to sob again.

She patted my hair and waited for me to finish.

"I have an idea," My head rose to look at her face, "I have been keeping a photo album of the two of you together. Do you think that if I showed her the pictures of us all together she might remember?"

I nearly smiled at that idea.

"Alice, you are a genius. We need her to try and remember through a real memory! I don't know if it will work but I would eat a nine course dinner of human food to get her to remember me!"

"Edward, this must be real hard for you… I know feel like I'm in hell so I can't imagine what this must be like for the man that's in love with her…"

She trailed of as I began to sob again.

When I was done, she took my hand and led me out to the car. I sat in the front seat and stared at the raindrops as they splashed against the windshield. We drove to the hospital in complete silence. I could hear Alice thinking about what she would say to Bella when she got to her room.

Eventually, we pulled up in the car park and I leapt from the car, slamming the door shut.

_Watch the damn car_ Alice thought menacingly. Even at a time like this she still worried about her Porsche.

We trudged towards the hospital and I showed Alice to Bella's room.

My hand was on the doorknob, ready to push the door open but I hesitated. I couldn't go back in. Not yet. If this didn't work, I wouldn't be able to bear witness.

"I think I'll have to sit this one out, remember she knows nothing of the supernatural Alice," I murmured and I took myself away to Carlisle's office.

**BPOV**

I could see Edward outside the door. There was someone else with him. They were small with dark hair.

It made me begin to wonder what he had wanted before. Jake refused to tell me then left to go get something. He'd been gone for ages. Charlie had come back in to say goodbye. There had been a traffic accident and he had to attend.

Edward turned away but the other figure opened the door. She was very small and pixie-like. She had short dark hair and it was stuck out in all directions. Her clothes looked brand new and her t-shirt had a large Chanel logo splashed across it. She was carrying a Louis Vuitton folder.

She skipped over to my bedside and beamed. I smiled back. I didn't recognise her but she seemed nice.

Without warning, she pulled me into a tight embrace and began to sob into my shoulder. I patted her on the back and noticed that no tears leaked onto my pyjama top.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're okay!" She wailed in-between sobs.

"Thank you but I'm sorry… I can't remember you," I whispered guiltily, a blush creeping into my cheeks.

Strangely, she didn't seem shocked. I stared at her, puzzled.

"Edward told me you are suffering from memory loss," she said, noticing my expression, "I'm Alice Cullen, his sister. I'm also your best friend."

I nodded. I looked at her face as she realised that I had no recollection of her.

"You don't remember me, do you?" she sighed.

I shook my head stiffly not wanting to say anything in case I offended her.

She looked a little put out for a second but then straightened and turned to me brightly.

"I might be able to help you, Bella."

I gasped in surprise _how_ could anybody help me. I had amnesia!

"You see," she continued seemingly unaware of my shock, "I have been putting together a photo album of us: You, me, Edward and the rest of the Cullens. I was thinking that maybe if you saw it, you would remember us."

I nodded and at that she whipped the Louis Vuitton folder onto the bed. She placed it on my lap and opened the cover.

The first picture was of her and me in a shopping mall. She was beaming and I was making an attempt at smiling. I hated shopping.

She flipped the next page to reveal a photo of me sitting on Edward's lap on a comfy-looking, black, leather sofa. The wall behind us was covered in CDs. Te caption beneath read: _The lovely couple in Edward's room_.

The next photo was of me lifted up in the air by a large man with curly dark hair. I was screaming playfully, clearly about to hit him and shout "PUT ME DOWN!"

Alice continued to flip the pages to show photos of me and what I guessed to be the rest of her family. It looked like I was so happy. I was sad to say I could remember none of the events.

"Anything?" She said hopefully.

I shook my head and felt a tear fall down my cheek. I wanted to remember, even if it was just for this beautiful stranger.

Alice trapped the tear with her cold finger and took me into her tiny arms. I began to sob, so sad that I could not recall any of those happy days.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered over and over again into her shoulder only to be hushed quietly.

"It's not your fault, Bella," She reassured me.

I knew nothing of Alice but I could tell that we were good friends. The way she spoke to me was that of a sister. I knew that I had once loved her that way when she began to reminisce about fun times we had shared together. We stayed, sat on my bed, for a while. I listened to her chatting away at me and smiled sadly. If there was one thing I wished I could remember it was her.

Eventually, I looked out of the window behind me and saw darkness. Alice noticed this too and checked the clock on my bedside. I did the same and noted that the time was 10 o'clock! She had been here for nearly four hours!

I guessed that since she was Carlisle's daughter normal visiting hours didn't apply to her.

"Jeez! Have you seen the time! You need to sleep – it's good for your head! I promise I'll come back tomorrow and I'll bring some clothes. Frankly, Bella those pyjamas are hideous! Bye!"

She skipped out of the room so gracefully that she could have been dancing. I was alone again. Jake hadn't come back and neither had Edward.

I sighed and turned out my light. I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep, my thoughts filled with photos of forgotten memories and strange faces.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I was in hospital for another two days. Alice spent most of that time with me, still desperately trying to get me to remember forgotten memories. I quickly regained my friendship with her.

Strangely, it was as if I had known her all the time.

Jacob dropped in sometimes for a quick conversation. I found myself getting on well with him just as I _knew_ I always had. That's one of the things I liked about Jacob. Being with him wasn't a step in the dark. I could remember everything about him.

Edward didn't come back though. Alice didn't mention him either. In some ways I was relieved – to be honest, he scared me a little.

I had been out of hospital for three days now.

I was perfectly capable of getting up and doing things for myself but the people around me seemed to think otherwise. Alice insisted on choosing clothes for me and bringing meals – Charlie, as I remembered, couldn't cook.

Jacob's visits became more frequent as I came home. As it was summer vacation, he could spend hours at a time sitting at my bedside just talking. I could remember most of the things he was talking about. He taught me how to ride a motorcycle and saved me when I jumped off a cliff (he didn't mention why I did that even though I asked him several times).

Edward didn't visit my home at all. I think he was keeping away from me. I don't know what I had done to him but is name was very rarely mentioned by any of my guests and I didn't really want to talk about him.

I noticed that Alice and Jacob would never be in the same room as each other. If Alice arrived while Jacob was telling me about the new parts him and his friends had fixed onto a car, he would mumble apologies and all but run from the room! Alice would always excuse herself moments before Jake arrived – it was as if she could predict his timings! **(A/N: I know Alice can't see wolves but her future goes blank when he's there)**

"I gave Quil your old bike the other day," Jake said to me during one of his many visits, "I hope you don't mind. You aren't allowed to use it anyway so I saw no reason for it to go to waste. He always had been lusting over it."

"I don't mind. As you said Charlie wouldn't let me ride it, right?"

"No – err – yeah… Charlie. That's right." He mumbled. I could tell he wanted to say something else.

"What is it Jake?" I questioned.

"Nothing, Bella, nothing. Charlie doesn't like motorcycles. That's what I wanted to say… yep." He began to turn red and sweat appeared on his brow.

"Are you okay, Jake?" I was starting to feel a little concerned.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He shrugged being deliberately casual.

I wanted to press the matter – there was definitely something he wasn't saying.

"Ja –" I started. At that moment the door swung open and Alice skipped in. Her nose wrinkled and she turned to glare at Jacob.

He snarled at her and began to shake. I sat up in bed – was he having a fit?

The tremors stopped and he sprinted from the room. I heard the front door slam about three seconds later.

That was odd.

I turned back to Alice who was still glaring at the spot where he had been standing.

So suddenly I jumped, Alice snapped her head up to look at me and she smiled.

"Hi Bella," she chirped.

"Hi Alice," I nodded in return, "I've been thinking, why do you and Jake hate each other so much?"

"Hate each other?" She said in a surprised manner

"Yeah. I mean, the two of you can't even be in the same room without looking as if you want to rip each other's heads off!"

She laughed but it sounded forced. "You have and over active imagination Bella," she shook her head in mock tragedy, "Do you want to see the shoes I got on sale in the mall for 50 dollars?"

I nodded reluctantly and listened to her describe her shopping adventures to me in great detail.

Charlie was happy that I was spending so much time with Jake. He was the only one that ever spoke of Edward but when he did he always called him "That Boy".

I got the impression that Charlie didn't like Edward.

After a few weeks, I persuaded everyone that I was well enough to get out of bed. They still kept me under house arrest but it was better than being confined to my room.

**EPOV**

I missed Bella. At night, I went and sat in her room like I used to so long ago. She never realised I was there ten and she didn't now.

I sat in the rocking chair waiting to hear her sleep talk. She mentioned Alice a lot.

"No more shops, Alice!" she shouted a once. I had to stifle a laugh.

Jacob's name cropped up more and more regularly. Every time it escaped her lips, I gripped the arms of the chair more tightly.

I was sad to see that my name never came up. It hurt more than anyone could possibly imagine.

I wanted to lie on her bed and hold her to my chest where she belonged. I couldn't though.

I tried to tell myself that it was better that she couldn't remember me. _I'm a monster_. I tried to tell myself but it didn't work. Nothing could stop me from wanting to be with her.

Whenever Alice returned from her house, I asked for in-depth recounts of Bella's every move and word.

I was completely useless at home. Esme was beginning to worry. All I did was more in my room and play a few bars of Bella's lullaby before slumping over the keys and sobbing. I was acting like I did when I left her only a thousand times worse.

I couldn't face a visit to her house. I knew that Charlie didn't want me there. I could decipher that much from his mind. I was also too scared to face Bella. Too scared that I would break down, fall to pieces, when I heard her speak to me. She couldn't remember me. We couldn't be together. **(A/N: I really hated typing that sentence! Remember that's just his though in desperate times – nothing is set in stone.)**

**BPOV (about a week later)**

Jacob was becoming more and more friendly. Whenever he came now he would hug me passionately; kiss my cheek and let his lips linger for too long on my skin. It didn't make feel uncomfortable, just freaked-out. I could remember feelings I once had for him, feelings of love and desire.

It was 5 o'clock on a Friday evening. I was sitting at my computer replying to a long e-mail from Renee. Now I was ill she was e-mailing me a lot more.

I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called.

Jacob walked through the door, stooping low so he wouldn't hit the frame.

"Hi Bells," he murmured

"Hi Jake, what's up?"

"I…err… have something to ask you."

_What did he want?_

"Sure, Jake, Shoot,"

**EPOV**

Enough was enough. I had to see her. I needed to get her to love me.

My existence was nothing without Bella.

I scuffled out of my room and down the stairs.

Jasper and Emmett were playing Smackdown vs. Raw. Jasper was winning.

_Stupid Jasper… Always has to win_…_I bet I would if it was REAL wrestling_ Emmett was grumbling in his head.

I rolled my eyes and started to head for the door. Before my hand encircled the handle, Alice popped up.

"Where are you going?" she sang

"To see Bella," I whispered almost inaudibly.

She gasped and stepped away from the door so I could exit.

I reached my Volvo and started the engine.

It took longer than usual to reach Bella's house because I drove slowly, second-guessing every shift of the gear stick and every nudge of the accelerator.

I stood on her doorstep and hesitantly push the bell. Charlie opened the door and he did not look at all pleased to see me.

However, he let me in and I climbed the stairs. I stopped outside her bedroom door because I could hear voices.

"Look, Bella. I don't want to push things," It was Jacob, "but I know how strongly I feel about you and I need to make my feelings known."

I could hear her swallow.

"I really like you Bella. I really, really like you."

I heard her gasp in shock. To my horror it wasn't a bad type of shock.

"I…like you too Jacob," She whispered.

No! _No_! NO! She _couldn't_ love him. She loved _me_. That stupid, putrid, filthy DOG!

I could feel my world crumble around my feet. She loved him. Not me. She didn't love me. How could this have happened?

She had to. This must be a joke.

I started to breathe heavily. If it didn't know any better I'd say I was going to go into shock. Can vampires have hysterics? I sank to my knees and put my head in my hands. I was unable to move from the spot. I wanted to curl up and let the world have me. Take every piece of me. I had no reason left to exist.

"That's what I was hoping," Jacob said, I could hear the smile in his voice, "So…. Do you maybe want to go on a date sometime?"

I didn't wait to hear her answer. I knew what it would be. I ran from the house, slamming the front door. I reached my car and I slumped over the steering wheel and I let my emotions overcome me. The sobs wracked my body more violently than they had ever done before.


	6. Chapter 6

**Previously**

"That's what I was hoping," Jacob said, I could hear the smile in his voice, "So…. Do you maybe want to go on a date sometime?"

I didn't wait to hear her answer. I knew what it would be. I ran from the house, slamming the front door. I reached my car and I slumped over the steering wheel and I let my emotions overcome me. The sobs wracked my body more violently than they had ever done before.

**BPOV**

"So… Do you maybe want to go on a date sometime?" He said a huge grin plastered on his face.

_What_?

Did Jacob just ask me out?

Oh _crap_.

What do I say to this?

I looked up at his smiling, expectant face. How could you say no to a face like that?

But God! I've only been out of hospital for a couple of weeks. I couldn't remember half of my life! Why was he doing this to me?

I mean, it's not that I didn't love him. I did. Greatly so. It's just… I had this _feeling_. This feeling that stopped me from returning his love completely. It was like something was holding me back. Tying me down.

For some reason I couldn't grasp, I _couldn't_ love him as much as he loved me.

Was I in love with someone else? Did this have something to do with Edward?

But why should I let that feeling stop me?

I knew I loved Jacob so what was I doing, letting this small niggling feeling stop me from being happy? Why should some forgotten feeling or memory govern my emotions?

What was the worst that could happen?

I _loved_ Jacob. **(A/N: I **_**hate**_** writing this!)**

"Y…Yes." I whispered.

Before I could blink, Jacob hoisted me from my seat on the bed and pulled me into a huge hug. He set me down and I smiled up at him, he beamed down at me.

Next thing I knew, Jacob had smashed his lips against mine. His wet mouth forced mine open and he kissed me with such passion that I couldn't help but feel he'd been containing himself for a long time.

_Wait_ I thought. This is too fast. My hands were resting against his chest. I tried to push him away. He was strong. I was struggling and he mistook this for passion. He kissed me harder.

I put my arms around his neck and he moaned. I tried to pull his head back but once again he misunderstood this gesture and pulled my waist towards him, arching my back.

Unable to think of anything else, I decided to remain still. Perfectly still. I didn't respond to his kisses. I closed my mouth and wouldn't allow him to reopen it.

Eventually he stopped and looked at me in confusion. I looked to the floor, embarrassed. He sighed and took hold of my chin so he could see my face.

I blinked and removed myself from his grip. I sat down on my bed and picked up my copy of "The Da Vinci Code" – Alice had brought it along and told me to read it.

Jacob pulled the book from my grasp and set himself down next to me. I felt his arm wind its way around my shoulder and pull me closer to him.

"So, how about Saturday?" He said nonchalantly.

"How about this Saturday what?" I asked.

"Well, you said I could take you on a date…" He trailed off in a playful manner.

"Okay then," I smiled

He grinned and I yawned.

"You should get some sleep, Bells." He said

"It's only half five!" I protested

"Well, I'll leave anyway. You need to relax." He came towards me and kissed my forehead gently before leaving the room.

I sank onto the bed and picked up my book.

I woke up the next morning when I heard a knock on my door. I must have fallen asleep reading my book.

"Come in!" I called.

Alice skipped through the door and lightly sat herself on my bed.

"Hi Bella!" She sang

"Hi Alice, what are you doing here so early?"

"Early?" she looked surprised, "It's twelve noon!"

"Really. Wow. I slept for a long time!"

"Ohmigosh!" She squealed, "Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah but it's fine. Guessing from the time, I should have woken up a few hours ago. Hang on a second and I'll get ready."

I started to get up but Alice pushed me back down. She darted to my wardrobe and picked out an outfit then set it on the bed.

I got dressed and brushed my teeth then Alice styled my hair into a braid down my back.

"Do you want to come round to mine?" She asked afterwards.

"Yeah, does that mean I'm no longer under house arrest?"

"I guess so," she giggled. I joined in and we made our way downstairs to her Porsche.

When we arrived at her house, it was very quiet.

This was the first time I remembered coming into her house. I could see the white open plan space and the large window that covered the entire back wall. It was exquisite.

Alice pulled me up the staircase to her room. It was also Jasper's. He was her adoptive brother but they were I love. They weren't legally related do it was okay. Emmett, one of her other brothers, was in love with Rosalie (Jasper's twin sister) and then Edward was alone. Alice had told me all about their family during one of her many visits.

I didn't remember any of her family.

The room was very pink and fluffy. Very Alice, I suppose.

She sat me on the bed then turned to me.

"So… what happened with Edward last night," She asked in a very girly, suggestive, singsong voice.

"Edward?" I asked confusedly.

"Yeah," she replied, "When he came over."

"He came over?" I was even more confused now, "Jacob was the only person who came over last night." I could feel myself blush when I said Jacob's name.

"Why are you blushing, Bella?" She asked

"Just… nothing… Jacob." I mumbled

"What happened?" she strangely sounded quite scared

"He…err…" I became very interested in Alice's quilt as I muttered, "Asked me out,"

Alice's eyes widened and she looked shocked. The shock instantaneously turned into anger.

"What did you say?" She spat. I could hear the venom in her voice.

I knew she didn't like Jake but this was ridiculous.

"Yes," I whispered almost inaudibly.

I heard a wail from down the corridor and Alice flew from the room. What was going on?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**EPOV**

"Yes" She whispered quietly. It was times like this I hated my supersonic hearing. That was the word I never wanted to her say.

Just like in my car, my emotions took control of my body.

I leapt up from my bed and ran to my CDs and swept them all onto the floor and I sank to my knees and wailed. I wailed for my lost love. I wailed for my Bella.

I began to dry-sob again until I heard the door open.

**(A/N: Because of vampire speed the above events happened within about three or four seconds)**

Alice tiptoed into my room and sat on the floor next to me. I felt a fragile arm snake its way around my shoulder and it pulled me towards her in a sisterly way. I cried for a few more minutes until I heard _Edward_.

I looked up to Alice who had just called me silently.

_I still see her as a vampire. Even if her near future is clouded_ she thought, clearly trying to comfort me.

I shrugged and rested my head between my knees again.

_She's coming_ Alice told me urgently.

I forced myself off the ground and onto my bed where I picked up a book, which I opened randomly. Even if Bella no longer loved me I would always love her.

**BPOV**

I walked into Edward's room. I was sure this is where I heard the wailing come from. I saw Alice first. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor watching a film.

"Is everything okay?" I asked hesitantly, "I thought I heard wailing."

"Yes," replied a velvety voice from the bed, "It was just the movie." Alice nodded enthusiastically then turned back to the television set.

I didn't feel like watching a film so I decided to take a look around the room. I recognised it from the photos that Alice had showed me. The comfy-looking leather sofa stood against the opposite wall. I went and stood next to it but then I noticed hundreds of CDs. I decided to take a closer look and noticed many familiar titles. Edward had almost every genre of music from many, many years.

It surprised me. I knew from Alice that he was musical but not many teenage boys I had met liked Debussy.

I ran my fingers along the spines of the CD covers and noticed from the corner of my eye that Edward was staring at me intently. It unnerved me slightly. I turned to look at him. I mean _really_ look at him.

He had beautifully sculptured, angular features that were more handsome than anything I had ever seen. His bronze hair rested untidily on his head and his white skin was smooth as marble.

He smiled a beautiful, crooked grin at me and I blushed, knowing I had been caught looking. I looked away at Alice who had given up on the movie and was now looking at the two of us, beaming.

I turned back to look at Edward and locked eyes with him. We could have been in that position for a lifetime for all I knew, it felt unusually comfortable.

My gaze was broken when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I reached for it and slid it open to see on the screen:

**You have one new message:**

**Hi Gorgeous. Decided I couldn't wait until Saturday to see you. I hope you're not busy tonight. I'm taking you to dinner. I'll pick you up from your house at seven. Love Jacob xxx**

I sighed.

Alice was at my side, looking at the text. I looked down at her delicate features, which were arranged into a scowl. Before I had a chance to ask her why, I was being towed into her room and onto her bed.

"What was that?" she demanded happily

"What was what?" I was confused

"You and Edward," she winked at me

My face must have formed a mask of true shock at that because her expression became quizzical.

"What _about_ me and Edward?"

"Admit it, Bella, you two just had a moment!" she squealed with excitement.

"We… huh…what… we had a _what_?" truthfully, I knew what she as talking about. She was talking about us looking into each other's eyes. Without wanting to sound cheesy, I felt like I was looking deep into his soul – like I really looked at him.

It felt like I had looked past his otherworldly features and I had seen the real Edward. I know I sound like a stupid little schoolgirl but that was the truth. That actually happened.

"I was talking about you two staring at each other. It was quite mushy Bella. You had this expression on your face of true infatuation-"

"WHAT?" I cut her off, "I don't love Edward!" Lie. "I don't even know him. Besides I'm with Jacob."

I looked at the ground, embarrassed.

"Speaking of Jacob," she added in an unusually serious tone, "what are you wearing when you see him tonight?"

It took me a minute to remember that she read the message over my shoulder.

"I don't know," I mumbled, "Jeans and a nice top I guess."

The look on her face when I said this was priceless. She looked completely horrified and outraged – as if I had just slapped her across the face.

"You are NOT wearing jeans on a DATE." She snarled.

I was slightly taken aback at the venom in her tone. I looked at my feet ashamedly until she spoke again.

"I have a dress for you to wear; follow me."

She grabbed my arm and towed me to her closet.

Alice's closet was as big as a small shop. She had rails upon rails of exquisite clothing. I noticed that half the items still had the tags on.

I continued to gaze at the vast collection until she appeared in front of me, holding up a flowery dress. I thought it was nice – until I saw the tag. The dress was Dolce and Gabbana. It cost five hundred dollars.

"Alice, I can't wear that or accept it. It cost too much." I stated.

She rolled her eyes and pulled my clothes off before forcing it over my head.

She spun me around so I could see my reflection in the gigantic mirror behind me. I had to admit that I looked good. The dress clung perfectly to my figure and accented my curves.

Alice could see the awe in my face and smiled knowingly.

"I knew you'd love it," she said.

She proceeded to fix my hair and put some make-up on my eyes before driving me home. I was home an hour before Jacob arrived so I put some dinner in the oven, ready for when Charlie returned from work.

The doorbell rang. I was only twenty to seven. Jake wasn't usually early. I shuffled to the door and swung it open to reveal a tall figure with bronze hair and pale white skin.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

Edward was the beautiful figure standing in my doorway. I smiled. What had he come for?

He returned my smile with his perfect crooked grin.

I met his gaze and we looked into each other's eyes once again.

We stood like that for a few minutes, me inside the house and Edward getting wet from the drizzling rain. Only when the microwave started beeping, telling me that Charlie's dinner was ready, I looked away.

"Um, would you like to come in, Edward," I asked feeling unsure.

"Okay," He smiled.

I gestured for him to make is way inside and I dashed to the kitchen to put the finished meal in the oven so it would stay warm. I scribbled a quick note to inform Charlie of this and I made my way back through to the living room.

Edward was standing by the mantle place, examining my old school photos.

I blushed. They weren't the most flattering of pictures.

He chuckled quietly when he noticed my glowing cheeks and proceeded to sit on the sofa. I joined him, sitting by his side.

He had a carrier bag, clutched in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, he looked a bit confused and slightly hurt, "I mean, It's not that I'm not pleased, but… why?"

His expression lightened considerably and he glanced down at the bag.

"You left your clothes," he said, "Alice insisted that _I_ brought them down for you."

He smiled again in a knowing way. I had my hand resting on the cushion and slowly he rested his cool one on top of mine and gently stroked my fingers.

I allowed him to do this for a while. It felt comfortable, _right_.

We gazed at each other once more. Strangely, I felt like I never wanted to break away from this. I never wanted to leave Edward's side.

_What was I thinking?_ I told myself, inwardly.

I hardly even knew Edward yet I was feeling all these strange emotions. It was a yearning for him. It felt… odd.

My thought train was interrupted by the noise of a loud engine outside. I looked through the window and saw an old Volkswagen Rabbit.

_Crap_! I thought.

Jacob was outside. Edward was in here with me _touching my hand on the sofa_!

Jacob was my boyfriend.

"Oh… God…" I stood up and rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"What?" Edward asked, once again confused.

The doorbell rang and Edward nodded. He had guessed who was there.

"I'm sorry," he sighed

"For what?"

The doorbell rang again. Jacob was probably getting impatient.

"COMING!" I called

I scooted over and answered the door. Edward followed, he as on my heels.

A smiling Jacob stood with a bunch of flowers. I thought it was really sweet of him.

His grin faded as he spotted Edward behind me.

"What are you doing here?" he growled and I realised that the question was directed at Edward.

"Bella was visiting Alice today and got ready for her date at our house. She left her clothes and I was returning them," he replied simply.

"Why couldn't Alice bring them?" Jacob snapped.

"She said she had something to do. I think she mentioned something about reorganising her closet."

I smiled – that was a very typical way for Alice to spend her evening.

We were all silent for a moment. It was a very long silence and it made me feel uncomfortable and awkward.

Edward was the first to speak.

"I'd better get home. My family will be wondering where I am. Have fun."

He took off into the rain before I had the chance to even say goodbye.

Once his Volvo had driven out of sight, I noticed that Jacob looked annoyed. I gave him a hug and whispered in his ear.

"Shall we get going?"

He relaxed at this gesture and nuzzled into my neck, nodding. He took my hand and pulled me into his car.

O.o.O.o.O

After about an hour of driving, Jacob pulled up outside an Italian restaurant in a small town called Duriton.

The restaurant was quite small but looked quite posh.

He grabbed my hand and towed me excitedly through the door.

A waitress was standing at the podium, chewing gum loudly. She looked startled as Jacob walked in with me. She had eyes only for him.

I guess Jacob was handsome and she noticed that. She immediately started twirling her hair around her fingers and smiled "seductively".

"I'm Danielle and I'll be your server for tonight, follow me," she said, flirtatiously.

She strutted towards a table near the window. And placed two menus down on the surface. She waved her hand at the seats, telling us to sit down and grabbed a pen and notebook from her overall as we glanced at the dishes. She leaned over the table unnecessarily, pretending to adjust the cutlery.

Danielle wore a very low-cut black t-shirt and black jeans with leather pumps. As she bent over, she showed off an impressive cleavage. Jake began to stare at her breasts until I kicked him in the shin. He came back to reality and looked pointedly out of the window.

It annoyed me slightly how easily she had won him over.

She flicked her ratty, blonde extensions over her shoulder.

"May I take your order?"

"I'll have the Pizza Margherita and a coke please," I requested.

"And you _sir_?" she turned to Jacob.

"Err… the same as Bella, please," he sounded uncomfortable.

"Anything… _else_?" she winked a heavily made-up eye at Jacob. We all knew that she wasn't talking about food.

"Erm…" he looked at me for support.

"No thank you, Danielle," I said, faking sweetness, "Prostitution is illegal."

I smiled at her innocently and Jake snorted. She glared at me then turned on her heel to submit the order to the kitchen.

We were sitting opposite each other. Occasionally, Jake would rub my leg with his foot or take my hand and stroke it like Edward did. When he did this I began to daydream of the beautiful man.

Jake noticed the dreamy smile on my face. I immediately felt guilty. I was dreaming of Edward… longing for him. What was happening to me?

I had always been such a loyal, grown-up person. I was acting like an immature schoolgirl.

"You okay, Bells?" Jacob sounded a little concerned.

"Yeah, just tired I guess," I forced a smile.

Just then the meal arrived. Danielle set the plates down ungraciously then stormed off. I guess she was still upset that I had accused her of being a prostitute.

"I see you're still best friends with Alice then," Jacob asked. He was desperately trying to sound casual but there was a hint of rebellion in his voice.

"Yes, I am," I smiled. It was hard to imagine not being friends with Alice.

She was such a good and kind person who was always there when I needed her. I could have done without all the makeovers though. I was also expecting a lot of shopping trips now that I was seen to be well enough to get out of bed.

"Doesn't she creep you out a bit though?"

"No! Of course not! Why would she?" I was shocked at his question.

"She's just so small and… pale. I just find her a bit scary," he noticed my annoyed expression, "No, Bella, don't get angry. I guess I just mean that she's a bit… overwhelming."

I wasn't entirely convinced but I pretended to be satisfied with his answer. Why didn't he like her? In fact, he didn't seem to like Edward that much either. I supposed that was just because he was in an empty house with me before our date.

"You like the pizza?" he changed the topic unsubtly.

"Yeah, Margherita is my favourite." I smiled and twirled the piece of Basil, which had served with the food, around in my fingers.

"I don't know why I got it. It's so plain… next time remind me not to copy your order," he chuckled and I joined in with him.

We carried on making light conversation until we were done with our food. Jake called Danielle over.

"Can we have the bill, please?"

"Sure, I'll just get it," She stalked over to the cash register and began pressing buttons.

"I bet she'll be glad to see the back of me," I laughed

"I certainly wouldn't be," he leaned over the table to kiss me gently.

There was a cough and we broke apart. Danielle was standing over us, looking very disgruntled, and holding the bill. She handed it to Jake and went back to stand at the podium. He giggled and showed me.

Danielle had scribbled a note at the top of the receipt:

_Call me: 0614-264-8734  
Don't worry – you don't have to pay ;)_

I roared with laughter as Jake got his wallet out. He placed some change onto the plate.

"Jake, I'll pay for my half –"

He cut me off.

"This is a date and my treat, honey." I nodded, accepting defeat.

Danielle came back to us and Jake handed her the money. He also handed her the receipt.

"You forgot something," she said playfully.

"No, I didn't. Don't worry – I wouldn't pay anyway," I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a snigger, he turned to me, "You ready to go, love,"

I nodded and he took my hand, leading me away from a huffy Danielle and the rest of the restaurant.

The guilty feeling came back as I wished that the hand that was holding mine was ice-cold rather than very hot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**BPOV**

On the way back to the car, Jake withdrew his hand from mine and instead wrapped his arm around my waist. It didn't bother me too much but gradually his arm began to drift lower and lower until he was holding my ass. I didn't like that too much.

I couldn't tell him to get the hell off so instead I took his hand again and held it firmly until we reached the car.

It was a quiet ride home. At 9 o'clock when we pulled up outside my house. Jake walked me to the door and kissed me briefly on the lips before I turned the key and went inside.

I was glad to have the rest of the night to myself. It would at least give me some time to decipher my emotions.

Edward was the first thing that sprang to my mind. What was happening? What was going on with him?

I was terrified of him just a few weeks ago. I mean, he said he was my boyfriend. I must have liked him quite a lot if I had chosen him over Jacob.

Jacob.

My Boyfriend.

How could I be thinking about Edward this way? I loved Jacob - Immensely so. I wouldn't want to betray him. But how could I prevail over my longing for the mysterious, beautiful Edward. It felt like I was born to be with both of them.

Too bad you can't have two boyfriends, right?

I was being ridiculous. How could I compare my long-lasting feelings towards Jake to those I felt for a man who I could only remember knowing for a matter of weeks?

Such is life I guess.

Although it was still really early, I decided to go to bed.

**O.o.O.o.O**

2 o'clock in the morning. I had just checked my alarm clock. I had been lying in my bed for four and a half hours trying to escape my thoughts and fall asleep. As you may have guessed, I hadn't had any luck as of yet.

I turned on my iPod and flicked it onto shuffle mode. I had always loved old music. I think Renee had influenced my choices somewhat. How many normal teenagers enjoyed classical music? "Torn between two lovers" by Mary Macgregor began to fill my ears.

_There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind  
Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt  
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you  
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can_

There's been another man that I've needed and I've loved  
But that doesn't mean I love you less  
And he knows he can't possess me and he knows he never will  
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill

Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool  
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules  
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool  
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules

I sang with the words and felt tears escape my eyes. Could this be just how I felt?

I couldn't leave Jake though. I remembered how easily tempted he was by that slut of a waitress but I told myself that he reacted like any teenage boy would in that situation. I was being ridiculous and overdramatic.

I loved Jacob. My feelings for Edward were all wrong.

Tears escaped faster. I paused the song and grabbed a tissue from my bedside and pressed it to my face in attempt to stem the relentless flow of salty water. I cried myself to sleep that night.

**EPOV**

I sat in Bella's room. I know I shouldn't have done but I couldn't resist the temptation to spend my night the way I had done for such a long time until recently.

The only woman I could ever imagine loving lay restlessly in her bed. She had been sleep talking for a while now. It was mostly incomprehensible babble but I had caught my name amongst the senseless mumbling. I had also heard Jacob's.

I felt elated every time I heard my name. Maybe she loved me again. Maybe we were still destined to be together.

Alice still saw her as a vampire. However, Alice was far from infallible. I thought back to the time she had seen Bella leap to her death from that dreaded cliff.

Alice's visions didn't consider Jacob. Maybe Bella would be a vampire if it wasn't for him.

My hands balled into fists. Words could not describe how much I hated that dog.

If Bella had spoken my name she must have been dreaming about me.

I decided not to get my hopes up. Clearly, she loved Jacob. Maybe this was better for her. It wasn't safe for her to be around vampires. I guess it also wasn't exactly danger-free to be around werewolves either but at least they weren't constantly fighting the temptation to kill her!

I couldn't give up though.

I couldn't start thinking like this again.

There was no way that I would relinquish my hold over the love of my life! I couldn't leave her like I did last September. I couldn't put her through that again.

Would she feel the same way if I left her now?

I checked my watch and noticed it was seven in the morning. The night had flown by.

Bella would be waking up soon. I silently crossed the room and slid out through the open window.

**BPOV**

I awoke from a very bad night's sleep. I checked the time (It was 8 am) and worked out I only managed to have about six hours of sleep.

Alice would be having fun putting make-up on the dark shadows under my eyes.

I crossed the room and closed my window.

Charlie's cruiser was gone already; I had the house to myself.

Just then, a bright yellow Porsche pulled up outside my house. Why did Alice have to own such an ostentatious car? Then _drive_ it?

Mr Forests next door looked up and gazed at it. Maybe he was staring at Alice.

Alice was beautiful after all; all the Cullens were.

I climbed down the stairs to let Alice in.

"Oh my God, Bella!" she gasped when I opened the door, "Did you get _any_ sleep last night?"

I shook my head and yawned involuntarily.

"Well," a smile crossed her face; "I guess it's lucky that I took a detour on the way here. I went to the Sephora store at the mall and bought some make-up!"

She began to jump up and down excitedly.

"Calm down, Alice. Besides, what's wrong with the make-up you used yesterday?"

She looked thoughtful for a second.

"Well, Jasper decided it would be funny to put some eye shadow and lipstick on Emmett while he was sleeping. He used a bit too much and I don't think it's good to share make-up – not since Carlisle told me about eye infections when I was little – so I decided to buy some more," she shrugged.

This made me laugh. When talking about Jasper putting make-up on Emmett, Alice gave the impression that it was completely the norm.

Funny, though, I had never considered Jasper to be that type of guy.

Alice proceeded to tow me to the bathroom and treat me like a human sized Barbie doll for about half an hour. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't tell the difference.

"Um… Alice, you can't even tell I'm wearing any make-up…"

"That's the trick, Bella!" she explained this in a manner that an impatient adult would adopt whilst telling a fifteen year old that one plus one is two.

I didn't understand what she meant by "the trick" and pulled a confused face. She merely let out a laugh that reminded me of wind chimes then scurried through to my room to select an outfit for me.

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting next to Alice on the front seat of the car, munching on a cereal bar as she drove so fast she was over twice the legal limit.

"Do you want to watch a movie today, Bella?" she asked

"Which one?" I asked.

"Erm… I was thinking a horror movie… maybe 'The Grudge'"

"Aw, Alice! You know how bad I am with horror films!"

"Shut up, you baby," she waved her hand in a dismissive manner and turned the steering wheel sharply so we entered her driveway.

I was hurried into the living room and sat on the large, leather sofa as she turned on the massive television set.

"Wait! I forgot that Edward had the DVD in his room! I'm going to make some popcorn, will you go and get it?"

"Alice I could make the popcorn –"

"Just go! He doesn't have cooties you know!"

Grudgingly, I trailed up the spiral staircase.

When I was outside Edward's door, I knocked twice and waited for an answer.

"Come in!"

I opened the door and stepped onto the thick, gold carpet. Edward was lying on his massive bed, looking at a car magazine.

"Bella! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I felt a blush creep into my cheeks. Why did he have to be so bloody gorgeous? He smiled breathtakingly as he noticed my colouring slowly redden.

"Um… Alice left her DVD in your room and wanted me to get it so we could watch it."

"OK, sure, what film?"

"The… Grudge…" I whispered reluctantly. _Why_ couldn't I have said High School Musical or something like that – at least it might save me humiliation later when I would all but pee on the sofa from being so scared…

He thought for a moment and stared around his organised space.

"I don't believe I have it in here, but once you find it do you reckon I could watch it with you two? It's one of my favourites," he flashed me his gleaming white teeth and chuckled silently.

"If you want…"

"I'll come down with you now actually."

He followed me back down into the living room and sat next to me on the sofa… dangerously close.

Alice skipped into the room and when she saw us, she smiled knowingly.

"Edward didn't have the DVD, Alice," I said

She smiled again and sang, "Don't worry – I found it in the kitchen," and then she sat on the floor near my feet.

I knew right then that she had set this up _just_ so would have to go into Edward's room. I could tell she didn't like Jacob much but this was ridiculous. I didn't think the way I felt about Jacob would ever change.

As Alice pressed play, I wondered if the way I felt for Edward would.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**BPOV**

Oh my god. This was terrifying. I looked at Alice below me. She wasn't eating any of the popcorn, which was shoved onto my knee, instead she was staring blankly at the film, completely unaffected by the most horrifying and gruesome parts.

Edward was sitting next to me and, like is sister, was showing no signs of fear at all. In fact, he appeared to be laughing at me whenever I flinched.

We were about an hour in and I jumped so hard that I actually lost contact with the sofa.

I was going to kill Alice once I had recovered from this – I had told her I couldn't cope with anything scarier than Shaun of the Dead, and that's supposed to be a comedy!

Unexplainably, I found myself with my head buried into Edward's cold, solid shoulder. He must work out a lot to get muscles _that_ hard!

He pulled me closer to his body. It felt comfortable.

"Oh God, I forgot that I left my… thing upstairs!" Alice called randomly before skipping out of the room.

I couldn't help but notice her devilish smile.

"Is this too scary for you?" Edward whispered in my ear, his cool breath almost causing me to melt.

I shook my head because I was scared that if I tried to speak I would sound like a complete idiot.

He chuckled and gave me a friendly squeeze with the arm he had slung casually around me shoulder.

Something happened unexpectedly on the screen. I flinched and buried myself closer towards him.

I looked up, hoping his otherworldly features would soothe me somewhat.

I was startled when I saw that he was looking at me intently. His sweet breath blew onto my face. I made the mistake of inhaling which caused my legs to turn to jelly.

Thank god I was sitting down.

He smiled my favourite crooked grin and I couldn't help but return it.

He was still staring. The intensity of his gaze made me blush.

He smiled again and took my breath away. I blushed harder and his smile widened. I looked down but he tilted my head up so I was looking him in the eyes.

I felt his cool thumb caress my cheek.

The next thing I knew, he had replaced it with his cool, smooth lips.

My heart stuttered.

He began sending a trail of kisses down my jaw line.

I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He worked his way to my throat.

My fingers wound their way into his hair.

He made his way back up, over my cheek.

A feeling of true elation shot through me; I had never been kissed this way before.

I wanted to kiss him back but I had melted internally. His sweet, sweet breath didn't make matters easier.

Nobody had ever had this effect on me before. Nobody, not even…

Jacob.

I gasped.

Oh _crap_ Jacob!

What was I doing?

I was cheating on him.

I had never understood how people could betray the trust their lover had in them. I was starting to realise that it was all too easy.

I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't do this to him - I loved him!

But did I love him more than I loved Edward?

Oh my god! I _loved_ Edward.

Why was this happening?

A tear trickled down my cheek as I had this sudden realisation.

I couldn't be in love with Edward. There was no way. It wasn't possible. But why did I feel this strong desire towards him?

I hardly knew the man for god's sake!

Using all the willpower I had, I pushed him off me and ran from the room.

**EPOV**

I pressed my lips against her cheek.

God, this was true bliss. How could I ever think I didn't have a soul? You would have to be alive to feel this much happiness.

I moved my mouth away from her soft, warm cheek and onto her jaw line.

I left a familiar trail of kisses and she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.

I wanted to squeeze her to me so close that there wasn't a single atom of air between us but I couldn't, not without hurting her.

Instead, I moved down to her throat. The drumming of her pulse made me forget my desire to hold her tightly, instead I concentrated on not breaking the skin to taste her blood.

Her heart rate had quickened dramatically. I was still so attuned to it.

I still wanted her – it was a strong passion. This was intensified when she entwined her delicate fingers into my hair.

I made my way back up to her cheek. It was a familiar circuit – one I had not visited for too long.

Bella gasped and I could almost feel something click into place inside her brain.

It was times like this I wished I could read her mind.

A tear fell down her cheek.

Too soon, she let go and leapt from the sofa and sprinted from the room.

For a moment I felt hurt, but then I realised what she had just done. She had cheated on the dog. For me, I guess that was a good thing but for her, it was a complete betrayal of trust and disregard of loyalty.

I sighed.

_Oh Edward, what did you do?_ Alice thought upstairs.

I could see the image in her mind: Bella stumbling into the room, tears streaming down her face.

It made me feel horrible, for making her cry like that.

I didn't regret kissing her though. Nothing on this earth would make me want to take that back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**EPOV**

I looked again into Alice's head, trying to see what was happening.

Alice had walked over to Bella and had her arm stretched around her shoulder. She was gently rocking Bella, shaking her to try and calm her down.

She wouldn't stop crying. The tears continued to flow relentlessly down her smooth cheeks.

This was too much. Too horrible. Each tear felt like a drop of acid in my eyes, a steak through my heart, a smack across the hand with a splintered cane.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked again, I could hear desperation creeping into her voice.

"I… I…" Bella stammered and sniffed, "He kissed me… I _let_ him kiss me… Alice I'm a horrible person I –"

I didn't want to hear the rest. How could I make her hurt like that?

I leapt from the sofa and ran to my car. I forced the key into the engine and the car roared to life. Within seconds I was miles and mils away.

I don't know why I left. I just felt that my very being in the house would cause her sadness. I didn't want to do that to her. I couldn't so that to her again.

Pictures I had seen in Jacob's mind so long ago flashed into my head. Bella on the forest floor, inconsolable. Bella walking into his house looking so emotionless… and empty.

I knew I would never forgive myself for leaving her.

I pushed the thoughts out of my head. I realised I was in the middle of the national park. I stopped my car and started to run. Maybe a hunt would clear my head.

**BPOV**

I was kneeling on the pink carpet in Alice's room. Her thin, cold arm was wrapped around my shoulder. She was shaking me gently, trying to calm me down.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked. I could tell she was getting desperate. I had been here for nearly five minutes just crying unstoppably. I felt so horrible; I wanted to punish myself. I wanted to weep and howl until there were no tears left inside me.

I managed to pull myself together enough to answer Alice's question.

"I… I…" I could hear myself stammering and I sniffed loudly to try and stop, "He kissed me… I _let_ him kiss me… Alice I'm a horrible person I let him kiss me… I betrayed Jacob… he trusted me… oh! What if he finds out?"

I gasped and began choking out tears as Alice tried to quieten me.

"Where did he kiss you, Bella?" she whispered

I couldn't stop the tears so I just motioned to the right side of my face. She nodded then pulled me into a hug.

I don't know how long we sat there. Eventually, the tears did run out. My throat hurt from the wailing and my face was stiff where the tears had fallen down my cheeks.

Alice took my hand and pulled my up. I sniffed again and moved towards her bed before slumping down onto it.

"Bella, I know you're upset but I want you to tell me everything."

I nodded.

"When you left the room," my voice cracked repeatedly as I spoke, " the film got scarier so I pushed myself closer to him. I wanted a distraction so I looked up at him. Somehow I felt that if I saw his face, I would feel better. He was looking at me and… then he took my cheek in his hand and stroked it with his thumb. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me…"

My voice trailed off and Alice nodded again.

"The worst thing though, is that I … I liked it. I don't know why but it just felt right. I can't describe it but… I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to let him carry on. Part of me wanted to _kiss him back_! But then I remembered Jacob and I had to leave… I just couldn't do it… I…"

More tears crept into the corners of my eyes and ran down my cheek. I couldn't carry on talking. If I opened my mouth right now I would start to sob again.

"Bella, I want to know and I want you to tell me. How exactly do you feel about my brother… about Edward?"

I gasped. How did I feel? I tried to tell myself I didn't but I knew. The kiss had told me. I loved Edward. I didn't want to be without him.

I loved Edward. But I loved Jacob too. My head hurt. How was it possible to love two people at once? How was it fair?

I hardly knew Edward, but I already felt this way about him. Surely that was sign. A sign of how much I loved him.

But then there was Jake, he was always there for me and I couldn't imagine a world without him. He was perfect and cared for me completely.

He was young though.

I started to remember the way he acted around the waitress. He was so immature, being so easily taken in. I remember how he groped my ass on the way back to the car.

I told myself to stop being overdramatic. There was no point jumping to conclusions. Jake was only sixteen!

I shook the memory out of my head.

I had to tell someone. I had to tell Alice.

"I… I think I love him."

The look on her face was unforgettable. She appeared to have been prepared for my answer but still so shocked to hear it.

For once, she was speechless.

She nodded then stood up and walked over to the window.

I could almost hear her brain working, trying to absorb the information I had just given her.

It wasn't a surprise. The revelation shocked even me.

Finally she turned to me and spoke.

"What are you going to do?"

He voice was different. It wasn't as happy and carefree as usual. This time, it was filled with trepidation and worry. It shocked me a little.

I thought for a moment before replying.

"I… I can't leave Jake. I care about him too much. I love him too."

She nodded again.

"Bella, I respect that. I'll just ask you to think it through again. I don't want you to hurt yourself again. It was so hard to watch you fall apart just now. Please be careful. I'll take you home now."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV**

I was lying in my bed, my thoughts so consuming that it was impossible for me to sleep.

I loved Edward Cullen. Everything about him was amazing. His beautiful, perfectly sculptured face; the way his golden eyes bore deeply into mine; his smooth, velvety voice; the way he made my heart race with just one glance; his cool lips pressed against my cheek...

Stop, Bella.

How could this be happening?

I had asked myself that question too many times lately.

Everything was so completely messed up. I loved Jake, more than most could understand. We had a bond that ran deeper than words could describe. However, I felt a strange connection with Edward. It was almost as if I was made to be by his side.

I couldn't choose who I wanted more. It was like asking a mother to pick her favourite child. It couldn't be done.

I sighed and rolled over onto my side, pulling the duvet up to my chin.

I began humming a song that I could remember to the last note. However, I couldn't think of where I had heard it or even recall the composer!

Slowly, I drifted to sleep, still humming the unfamiliar melody.

**EPOV**

I was in her room again. Even if she didn't still want me, I couldn't resist the temptation.

She was so beautiful when she slept. Her long, dark hair cascaded around her face and over her closed eyes. Her arms were raised above her head, as if she was holding a ballet position.

Her bedclothes had slipped off and her pyjama top had ridden up, exposing her beautifully flat stomach.

Her head began to move and she groaned. I positioned myself so I could leap from the open window if she woke up.

She began to hum as she slept.

I gasped as I recognised the tune. It was her lullaby. The lullaby _I_ had written for her!

She remembered it!

I backed away from the window and sank into the rocking chair. I listened to the melody. It was perfect.

I continued to listen to her hum and sank into my own thoughts.

I had driven to our meadow after I had kissed her. I had knelt on the soft grass in the same place where we had lay together such a long time ago. That was the first time we had kissed. She had said that she loved me that night as she slept.

I sighed. So long ago. It felt like a lifetime since we had been together. A lifetime which I hoped would correct itself in due time.

I had arrived home about half an hour after Alice had dropped Bella off at home. She seemed distracted.

Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was in some sort of trance. It reminded me of the expression she wore whilst having a vision.

She wasn't seeing the future however, at least not constantly. I would have known if she was. I was reading her thoughts.

_Why? Why won't she do anything? _She turned and saw me. Her eyes widened and I frowned in confusion, _Oh crap. Erm..._ _The mother of mankind, what time his pride_

_Had cast him out from heav'n, with all his host_

_Of rebel angels, by whose aid aspiring_

_To set himself in glory above his peers,_

_He trusted to have equalled the Most High,_

_If he opposed; and with ambitious aim_

_Against the throne and monarchy of God_

_Raised impious war in heav'n and battle proud_

_With vain attempt. Him the Almighty Power..._

She was reciting Paradise Lost by John Milton. A poem she knew I had no time for. I sighed and turned to look at her. I had tuned her thoughts out.

Watching her face was quite amusing. She appeared to be trying harder than usual to suppress the thought that she wanted to withhold from me. At the same time she was struggling to remember the words of the poem. It was taking a lot of effort.

"What is it that you wish to hide from me, Alice?" I asked, smiling without humour.

"Nothing of any interest to you dear brother," she smiled at me.

"Then why not let me see?"

"No means no, Edward!" she snapped suddenly.

I rolled my eyes and headed towards the piano where I began to improvise a complex melody.

My fingers drifted effortlessly over the ivory keys, weaving the notes into a song full of sorrow and disappointment.

Slowly, the piece of music transitioned into Bella's lullaby. I had played the song so many times that I hardly needed to pay any attention. My muscles knew exactly where to go. All I had to do was listen.

I looked at the clock on the far wall. It was half past eleven.

The sing came to end and my heart began yearning for Bella.

Before I could stop myself, I was out of the house, running at full speed towards the Swan residence.

**BPOV**

I was falling, falling into the water.

SPLASH!

I hit the surface violently and tumbled into the watery depths. The cold water rushed over my face.

I opened my eyes to see nothing. The salt began to sting so I closed them again.

I exhaled through my nose, bubbles escaping towards the faraway surface.

I laughed even though nobody could hear me. I was so happy.

Everything changed. The icy water felt like it was stabbing me in the sides. It hurt so much I gasped.

That was a mistake.

My lungs flooded, the piercing cold felt as if it was tearing my insides apart. I tried to scream but that only caused more water to enter my system.

I opened my eyes again, not caring about the stinging anymore. I couldn't see further than two centimetres away from my face.

Slowly, I started to lose consciousness. I fell back into a dream world. Slowly, I felt my body sink lower and lower towards the ocean floor.

Drowning was quicker and easier than falling asleep. Maybe death was the right way.

What did I have to lose?

My mind's eye surfaced pictures of familiar faces. Jacob, Edward, Alice, Charlie. I couldn't leave them. I couldn't do it to them.

I screamed again, they had to hear me, had to listen to my goodbye...

The water was gone. I was in my room, lying on my bed. My covers were on the floor and I could feel the freezing draft coming from the open window.

I don't know why I still left it open. I guess it felt right.

I blinked and stared around my room.

The rocking chair in the corner was rolling backwards and forwards as if someone had just stood up from it.

I shrugged my shoulders, guessing it was just the breeze from outside.

I wiped my forehead which I now realised was covered in a cold sweat.

The alarm clock on my bedside read 4am. I sighed and paced back towards my mattress and slowly sank back onto it then pulled the covers from the floor onto my shivering body.

**EPOV**

She was stirring in her sleep. She looked uncomfortable yet completely content.

I was surprised when she suddenly started laughing in a carefree manner. It was strange to see her so relaxed; Bella hadn't been like this since before the accident.

She tossed and turned violently. It was a very dramatic mood change. She gasped and then a scream followed abruptly. I was worried now. It was distressing to see her in this state. Bella screamed again.

I was still sitting in the rocking chair, waiting for her to go back into a comfortable sleep.

No such luck, she tossed again several times then her eyes began to open slowly.

She couldn't catch me here.

I launched myself from the rocking chair and flew out of the open window. I crouched behind the truck only to see her come and close the window a few seconds later.

That was too close for comfort.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**BPOV**

It had been two weeks since I had confessed my feelings for Edward to Alice. A week of me doubting my every action and emotion.

I felt out of place, in someone else's body. Every moment I spent with Jake was so amazing, yet so wrong.

It was hard to describe and it didn't even make sense. I was in the right set of arms, yet the wrong ones. I kissed the right pair of lips, yet the wrong pair of lips. I was with the right man, yet the wrong man.

I told you it didn't make sense.

I was unconsciously spending more and more time at the Cullens' house.

Alice wouldn't even have to ask me to come round anymore; I would turn up at their doorstep every morning at about nine 'o'clock. As always, the Cullens were so awake it was as if they had never even been asleep.

One morning, I found myself knocking on the door at eight in the morning. I hadn't had much sleep that night; nightmares had become unusually common in the past couple of weeks.

Usually, they consisted of me being isolated and alone; of me hurting the people I was close to; of me dying or drowning. Last night was strange though. I had dreamt of mystical creatures. Vampires and werewolves to be exact.

Jake and his friends had turned into huge wolves and the Cullens were vampires. They had been fighting.

I had woken up screaming at five in the morning. Jake and Edward had been fighting in combat. I was afraid that they were going to kill each other.

Thinking back to my dream now, it made me laugh. The Cullens weren't exactly _normal_ but they weren't vampires. They were best left to fairytales.

As for the fighting, I knew that Jake and his friends didn't exactly get on well with the Cullens but they weren't desperate for a supernatural battle!

I sighed and chuckled quietly.

The door flew open which was surprising as I had only pressed the doorbell about two seconds ago.

I gasped as I saw the heavenly figure holding onto the handle. As you may have guessed, it was Edward.

He was wearing baggy tracksuit bottoms and a tight fitting t-shirt which clung sexily to his well-defined muscles. His hair was messy and seemed a more beautiful colour than ever.

I shook my head, amazed that even after seeing him every day I was still left breathless by the very sight of him.

"Hi, Bella," he said and my favourite crooked grin appeared on his face.

"Hi, Edward," I breathed.

I heard him chuckle silently and blushed. I followed the direction of his arm as he gestured for me to enter into the living room. I skipped over to the huge sofa and plopped down onto the soft leather. I put my feet up on the rest and started looking for the T.V. remote.

I stopped when I heard someone laughing behind me. I turned round and saw Edward with his hand over his mouth, trying to stifle the snigger.

I felt my cheeks turn hot again.

"What?" I asked indignantly.

"Nothing, Bella, you just seem so at home,"

I immediately felt rude.

"Oh my god, Edward, I'm so sorry! I -,"

He cut me off.

"Stop worrying! It's not a bad thing, it's kind of cute," he smiled again.

Why did it make my insides soar when he said that he thought I was cute?

I was saved from having to reply to that when Alice came hurtling down the stairs. She sat down next to me and kissed me on the cheek. The elated feeling fell when I remembered that Edward never greeted me that way.

"What do you want to do today, Bella?" she asked brightly.

"I don't mind. What about you?"

"Bella," she sighed, "you never seem bothered about what we do!"

A pout formed on her tiny lips. She could immediately get me to do whatever she wanted with that pout.

"But I really don't, Alice!"

She rolled her eyes and but her lip, thinking of something we could do.

"Why don't we go shopping?" her eyes widened with excitement.

"Again?" I groaned.

"You said you didn't mind!" her features adopted a wicked grin, "we can head off in fifteen minutes, once I've changed your outfit!"

"What's wrong with my outfit?"

I looked down at my old hoodie and ripped jeans.

"I am _not_ taking you to the mall if you look like that!"

I scowled and allowed myself to be pulled up to her room.

As promised, fifteen minutes later I emerged from her closet with a completely different set of clothes. She even made me change my underwear!

I now wore a blue summer dress with white ballet pumps and a white cardi. We were only going to the mall!

She took my hand in her own tiny one and dragged me back downstairs.

Edward was lounging on the sofa watching a documentary on very low volume. He turned as he heard us enter the room and his eyes widened as he saw my appearance. I blushed for the millionth time and turned to Alice who was smiling smugly.

"Are we going yet?" I asked.

"I have never seen you so keen to get to the shops!"

I waited for an answer to my question, with what I hoped to be a stern expression on my face.

"Fine then grumpy!"

We sat in silence for the whole car journey to the mall.

"You've been quiet," Alice stated when she pulled up into a parking space.

"I guess I've just had a lot to think about lately," I shrugged.

"Edward and Jacob stuff again?"

I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath.

"What are you going to do?"

I sighed sadly and replied, "There's nothing I can do. I love them both,"

The days continued to draw on and the summer would end soon. I was still with Jacob and we were still happy.

Well, as happy as I could be.

As each day went by, it would be harder and harder to leave Edward in the evenings.

I continued to feel this pull towards him, the urge to leap into his arms, kiss every inch of his face, and hold him so tight that he wouldn't be able to breathe.

We were spending more and more time with each other too. I would sit with him as he played the piano, watch movies with him and we would talk about books. Our main argument was the quality of Wuthering Heights. He couldn't understand why I was so attracted to the story and characters.

I guess that's another attraction of mine that doesn't make sense.

It made me sad to think that I would have to leave Forks but I was going to the University of Alaska in the autumn. Alice was too... and Edward. They had told me that we had all applied before my accident.

My time with Jacob was becoming more and more limited. He always seemed to have to spend time with Sam Uley and his other friends.

I didn't want to be possessive and jealous but it was hurtful that he would always blow me off.

I remembered that he used to hate Sam, saying he was leading some sort of sinister cult in La Push. Things change. Relationships change.

In phoenix, I hadn't had that many friends. There was one girl I remembered though. She was called Lucy. We'd been best friends for a while, completely inseparable.

Sometime in 7th grade, she'd made friends with a girl called Alana. I had always hated Alana.

Ever since I had spilled a cup of juice on her white dress when we were six, she'd always had it in for me. Picking on my pale skin and clumsiness. To fit in in phoenix, you needed to be tan and athletic. Being popular was also useful, that was something I was not.

Anyway, the more time Lucy spent with Alana, the less time I spent with her. Eventually, we grew apart. Just smiling in the corridors and occasionally chatting on instant messenger.

The way things were looking, maybe me and Jake would end up that way. Sam Uley didn't like the fact I hung round with the Cullens.

It was exactly one week before the summer vacation ended and Jake was going back to school. I would stay here for three more weeks before moving up to Alaska and into the apartment I was going to share with Alice and Edward.

Jake and I met up once or twice a week to go to dinner or just hang out. A lot of the time, I felt uncomfortable when we held hands or kissed. I still loved him though. I would never want to leave him, or cause him pain but my emotions weren't so intense.

Thing is, he was more of a brother or a best friend. For that, I felt so guilty. You don't kiss your brother, right?

It wouldn't be right to break up with him though.

I was contemplating this one day, lying on the sofa with Edward. He had his arms round me and was playing with a strand of my hair. I didn't want to move from that position ever.

I knew I loved Edward more. He was like a life support drug. A day wouldn't be worth living without him being there.

I knew we belonged together. Alice knew it too. She always knew how I felt and questioned me on it at every possible opportunity. There was no point in lying.

I knew I couldn't control myself for much longer. I would need Edward too much soon.

The understanding hit me like an epiphany. I couldn't hurt Jake. I couldn't cheat on him. I also couldn't bear to be without Edward.

Solution: I would have to break up with him.

The very idea of doing it felt like a sin. I knew how much Jake loved me, how much it killed him to have to cancel on me.

Truth was, I didn't return his love so completely. My attentions were elsewhere.

When could I do it then?

It had to be before I left for college. This wasn't something I could end over the phone.

Was it better to do it sooner than later?

I was pulled away from my thought trail when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

_**Hi Bella!**_

_**Want to meet up tonight? I'm free and was thinking we could go for a walk. I have something to tell you.**_

_**All my love, Jake xxxxxxxx**_

I hoped this wasn't something too big, the thing he had to tell me.

Maybe I would break up with him tonight. There's no time like the present.

I cursed inwardly for regarding my relationship with such carelessness.

I hit reply and typed out a quick message.

_**Sure, tonight sounds good. Pick me up from Alice's in half an hour?**_

_**Bella xx**_

I pressed send and realised that Edward had let go of my hair and removed his arm.

I looked up to see a disappointed expression on his face. What was wrong?

"I guess that means our movie marathon is off for tonight?" he sighed.

CRAP! I'd forgotten!

"I'm so sorry Edward! Do you want me to call Jake and cancel?"

"No, you go have fun. I'm sure I'll find something to do here with Emmett or Jasper."

"We can do it tomorrow, I promise."

He nodded then I stood up to go find Alice, she would have something for me to change into.

I felt less guilty than I should have done about cancelling my evening with Edward. Hopefully by tomorrow night I would be free to do as I liked with him. Tomorrow, maybe all the restrictions would be gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**BPOV**

"Alice, do you have clothes I could change into? Jake texted and we're going on a walk in about half an hour."

She was lying on her bed with Jasper and they were watching a movie on her pink plasma screen TV.

The second I finished my sentence she leapt up, beaming. I didn't ask her to dress me very often.

"Watch out, Bella. Soon she'll think you want her as a permanent personal stylist," Jasper chuckled and winced slightly as he felt his soul mate hit him playfully on the arm.

She grabbed my arm and skipped towards her closet. After five minutes of searching through a rack labelled "Bella's Clothes", she handed me a pair of Skinny Jeans, a white t-shirt and an Abercrombie hoodie in navy blue. I changed and motioned to leave but found her blocking my way.

"Your hair," she stated with no explanation.

"What about it?" I asked

"Let me fix it, please?" she pouted and I nodded reluctantly.

I was pushed into a chair in front of a large dressing table and I felt a brush being tugged through my knotted hair. I closed my eyes and just let her get to work. I felt hot straighteners being pulled through my hair. She finally patted my arm gently and I opened my eyes and stared in the mirror.

I looked exactly the same. In my reflection, I could see Alice beaming over my shoulder and I couldn't bring myself to criticise her work.

"Thanks, Alice," I muttered and her grin widened.

I checked my watch and realised that Jake wouldn't be here for about fifteen minutes. I decided to go downstairs and see if I could find Edward.

I descended down the staircase and knew where I would be able to find him. The piano was playing the unfamiliar tune that I had been humming to myself sometimes. It was truly beautiful.

I entered the room containing the grand piano and sat next to the beautiful man on the piano stool. His eyes were closed and tightened every so often with emotion. His fingers flew effortlessly over the keys with impossible complexity and speed.

After a few moments, the music slowed and gradually came to a stop. Edward sighed and then opened his eyes.

"Hi, Bella, ready for your date?" he had difficulty saying the last word.

I nodded.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered, wiping my cheek.

I hadn't noticed the wetness around my eyes until now.

"I don't know!" I smiled, "I think it was the music you were just playing – it was beautiful."

He smiled sadly then stood up, grabbing my hand to slowly pull me into a hug. I melted against his cold chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. His fingers roamed up and down my spine; his cold cheek was pressed into my hair.

The doorbell rang several times, as if someone was pressing the bell impatiently. Edwards sighed and detangled himself from my arms. I felt myself pout but quickly neutralised my expression before he would notice.

He paced towards the door and pulled open the door. I was still stood by the piano so was unable to see who was calling round.

"Bella, it's your boyfriend," Edward called and winked at me, grinning. I couldn't help but notice that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

I scowled playfully and skipped over to greet Jake. Even if I was about to break up with him, I could at least be nice. I hugged him cautiously and then kissed him lightly on the cheek. I pulled back and saw a triumphant smile on his face; it was directed at Edward.

I frowned slightly and looked at my feet.

Everyone was silent. I decided to steal a glance at Edward and Jake. Both were glaring at each other. I could almost feel the hate radiating from them.

"So," I decided to break the uncomfortable quiet, "Shall we head off, Jake?"

"Sure, Babe." I hated it when he called me that. I forced a smile and he slipped an arm round my waist and looked at Edward once again as if to say 'Yeah, I've got it'.

"See you tomorrow Alice!" I called up the stairs. Jacob began to tug at me impatiently.

Edward was looking murderous. It was funny to see so much hate on his face. It was even present when he glanced at me; that hurt.

"Edward," I nodded at him before allowing Jake to tow me towards his car.

I heard the front door slam violently.

I made my way over to the passenger seat of Jake's Rabbit and sat down, buckling my seatbelt.

I gazed out of my window at the beautiful, white house and heard the engine roar to life.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Just a place I like to go sometimes, it's a nice place to take a walk."

That left me with no clues whatsoever.

**EPOV**

_Why_ did I let myself get so angry at the dog? I felt myself scowling at Bella. I've probably scared her off for good now!

AARGH! Why am I such a freaking idiot? You'd think that after being alive for over a century, I'd know how to treat a girl that I loved! Clearly, age does not mean wisdom.

I decided to go and sit back at the piano and channel my anguish into music. My keys randomly fingered the ivory keys, forming themselves into a sad melody. I was finding it impossible to play anything that could be considered happy.

I guess I was just going to have to come to terms with the fact that Bella would never love me. Never again would she see me as anything more than a friend. I would finally get option one. The safest path for her.

It was strange that I now wished that option one wasn't an option at all. I didn't want her not to love me, I wanted anything but that!

BPOV

Jake finally pulled up on the end of a trail. We hadn't been driving for very long.

"Come on, Bells" he said before ducking his head so he could clamber out the vehicle.

I undid the buckle, climbed out and jogged towards where he was standing. He took my hand, interlocking our fingers and dragged me towards the trees. I allowed myself to be pulled along behind him.

Of course, I managed to trip over several times but he just smiled and muttered things like "Typical Bella".

We had been walking for a while, and I felt like I had butterflies the size of pigeons inside my stomach. My legs were shaking and I felt slightly nauseous. I couldn't back out though. I had to do this.

I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath.

"Jake, I need to tell you someth-" I was stopped by a long finger being pushed against my lips.

He took a deep breath and began to speak himself.

"Look, Bella. Before you say anything there's something I need to tell you. Something important."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**BPOV**

"Look, Bella. Before you say anything there's something I need to tell you. Something important."

It _must_ be important if he cut me off like that.

"Okay..."

He breathed in again, once, twice, three times. He shook his head. I was nervous now. The bird-sized butterflies had grown again and were now the size of cats. The cats were clawing at my insides; I had never been this nervous before.

"First of all, I need to know you trust me," he asked, taking my hands and looking into my eyes.

What was this about?

"Of course I trust you," I whispered, not tearing my eyes from this.

He took another deep breath. I was starting to feel impatient.

"What's this about, Jake?"

"It's... You see... You don't live in the world you think you live in, Bella."

I had a very strange mixture of emotions when he said that. At first I was shocked, scared even, what did he mean? Second, I fought back the urge to laugh. It sounded like a weird quote from a movie!

I just looked at him, waiting for him to carry on.

I felt him drop my hands and noticed him stuff them into his pockets.

"When you were younger, did you ever listen to stories about werewolves and vampires?"

I nodded. This was a very weird topic of conversation.

"Did you ever think that they might be real?"

I had to laugh at that. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard!

"This isn't funny, Bella." He snarled.

"But Jake, they're just stories!" I exclaimed, the smile slowly fading from my face.

"That's what you think..." he murmured. I raised an eyebrow.

"The Cullens..." he started.

"What about them?" I snapped, feeling defensive.

He sighed and ran a strong hand through his hair. He took _another_ breath and shoved his hands into his pockets. It was if he was composing himself.

"They're monsters." He stated

This made me feel slightly angry.

"Look, Jake, I know you don't like them and all but I think that's a little _harsh_!"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" he roared at me. I was suddenly scared of him. I was terrified, petrified immobilised.

I felt myself starting to shake with terror, why was he treating me like this? Tears were welling up in my eyes.

"W...w...what d-don't I u-understand, Jake?" I stammered.

"Can't you see?" he spat, "_I_ am a monster. You don't remember but we are _all_ monsters. Me and my friends. We _hate_ the Cullens. What I wouldn't give to be able to kill one of them!"

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I couldn't.

"W-why do you h-hate the C-Cullens?" I breathed.

"They are filthy _bloodsuckers_."

I stopped and stared in horror. What was going on? Surely Jake was having a laugh. I would wake up any second now in bed and laugh this absurd dream off. I willed my eyes to open and relieve me from this horrible fantasy.

No such luck.

"Bloodsuckers?" I asked tentatively.

"Vampires," he grunted.

I gasped and stepped back. Everything started to spin, I smacked my hand against my forehead and my legs crumpled, leaving me to fall to the ground.

Vampires.

It explained a lot; that didn't make it any less of a surprise. How else could so many beautiful people exist together? I had never once seen any of them eat food; I supposed they had a slightly different diet. All the time I had spent with them. How did I know they hadn't just been waiting for the right time to kill me, to drain my veins and arteries to satiate their sickening thirst?

I stared into space, my vision blurring. The world around me had stilled but I was... surprised. I couldn't move. Then I was being shaken; two large hands grasped my shoulders.

"Bells? Are you okay?" Jake asked, his voice plagued with fear.

"V-vampires," I stammered.

He nodded gravely.

I held my hand out and was pulled up.

"What does that make you?" I asked, steadying my voice. I was close to hysterics.

"Bella, before I tell you, I want you to know that I love you..."

"What _are_ you Jake?" my voice was seething with venom.

He muttered something unintelligible.

"Jake?" I asked, my tone softening.

"Bella... I'm a wolf."

My breath caught in my throat once more. I felt like my airway was constricting, forbidding me to breathe. I ran a few steps backwards and tripped over a log. I scrambled along the floor; I had to get away. He had lied to me all this time. Jake had never revealed his true identity.

"Bella! Come back!" he shouted as I started to run. I wasn't very fast and I kept stumbling.

I heard his footsteps behind me and seconds later, a steel grasp enclose around my arm.

"What's the matter with you, Bella?" he asked, I could tell he was desperate and hurt.

"You never told me. You never said... all this time. And I _trusted_ you!" I spat the words at him, still struggling to control my voice.

"I couldn't tell you. You wouldn't have wanted me."

I opened my mouth and the words came out before I could stop them.

"I don't want you now!"

I smacked my hand over my mouth and my eyes widened with horror at what I had just done. I couldn't have said that. I looked up and saw Jake's horrified expression. He looked distraught and tears were welling up in his eyes. He began to shake violently but stopped himself.

"Is this because... I'm a... wolf?" he whispered.

"No... No... No Jake. I don't love you. I... I"

"You _what_?"

"Nothing."

His eyes were angry again. I was so scared. What if he killed me, after all he SAID he was a monster.

"It's _him_ isn't it?" Jake roared. Flecks of spit hit me in the face but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Who?" I asked even though I knew perfectly well who he was talking about.

"Cullen. The Bloodsucker. Edward." He punctuated every word with menace and hatred.

"Don't hate me Jake... _please_ don't hurt me!"

"You love him?"

I nodded slowly and a single tear ran down my cheek. He shook his head in disbelief.

"But... But Bella, you love _me_." He gasped.

I shook my head, "Not any more Jake; not in the way you want me to love you. I'm so, so sorry," the tears were streaming down my face now.

Jake let go of my arm. He was sobbing and he began to shake violently.

The tremors started to overcome him and although I saw that he was trying to gain control, he wasn't succeeding. His clothes ripped apart and he began to mutate. I was shaking too: with fear. Hysterical sobs escaped my mouth and I couldn't will my feet to move. I knew I was in danger.

Standing in Jake's place was a huge wolf. Its paws were flailing wildly and its howls were echoing through the trees. It started to charge at me. I felt pain rip through me. Everything went black.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**EPOV**

"Edward! Hurry up, something's wrong!" Alice shouted.

I rolled my eyes; it was probably a faulty zipper on her new pair of jeans.

"I'll be there in a minute!" I lied. I didn't really feel like moving from the sofa in my room. I had been sat here since Bella left just listening to music – sad music. I needed to have a life.

Is there a life for me without Bella?

I sighed sadly and lay my head back, absorbing the wonderful sounds of Debussy.

I closed my eyes, hoping that I could maybe fall asleep. I felt a breeze hit my face and reopened my eyes to see a very angry-looking Alice glaring down at me, panic in her eyes.

"We _need_ to _go_ Edward!" she shouted.

"What's wrong?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when they opened; her darkening eyes were filled with fear.

"Alice?"

"It's Bella," I stood up and ran to the door. I could hear Alice following me.

"What's happened?" I growled.

"I can't be sure... you know as well as I do that I can't see the damn dog! All I see is blood. And Bella lying there... d-dead," her voice broke on the last word and she crumpled into tearless sobs.

My eyes tightened. I wouldn't and I _couldn't_ let this happen to her. My Bella wasn't going to die. So help that putrid mutt if he hurt her.

I ripped the key to my Volvo from my pocket and pressed unlock. I was sitting in the driver's seat with Alice next to me. Her face was drained and filled with shock. She was shaking and her lip was quivering; Bella was her best friend.

I stuffed the key into the ignition with incredible force and brought the car to life.

**APOV**

Flashes. Terrifying scenes and images kept flashing into my brain. They were driving me insane.

One minute, I saw Bella lying on a footpath in the middle of a forest. She was alone in my visions, the dog may have been with her of course; I wouldn't have known if he was. She was bleeding, deep rips across her pale flesh. She was lying in her own blood, if she was lying in a bath she may have been drowning in it.

I concentrated on this image over and over, scrutinising it. The rips were deep, down to the bone and possibly dipping into her major organs. She was still and unconscious, her eyes glassy and staring into space. The amount of pain she was going through was evident on her face, even if she wasn't aware of it.

Paw prints were heading away from her mutilated body, blood dripping behind them.

I felt Edward wince beside me. I felt cruel for reliving these visions, aware of the pain they must be causing him. It was the love of his existence that was on the verge of death.

I tried to picture Jasper in that state but I couldn't bring myself to it. The thought was excruciating.

Of course, that wasn't the only picture I kept seeing. I was getting flashes. One second, Bella would be lying there, her body damaged beyond repair, the next, she would be a vampire, beautiful and... Alive.

Fate seemed to be a scale tipping in two directions. Someone had to make their mind up about something, I didn't know who.

I heard Edward sniff beside me. He was following Bella's scent. She had been away for a while now and I was surprised he could still smell her.

"You really don't know _why_ I can smell her?" he grunted

I nodded.

"It's because she is the most important thing in my world. I can always smell her from miles away. It's like the beating of her heart; I'm so attuned to that little thumping that I can pick it out from the farthest of ranges."

I nodded again and put my head into my hands. The ever-changing vision was giving me a headache; it felt like a flashing strobe light in a dark room.

Edward turned off the main road and onto a side road. The car skidded to a halt at the end of an unfamiliar trail. I stepped out of the car and was immediately met by a horrible stench. A werewolf had been here not too long ago.

**EPOV**

Bella was nearby. I could smell her with ease. Her beautiful aroma was burning the back of my throat but I ignored it. All I had to do was make sure she was safe.

I followed the pathway slowly. I had to make sure that I found her quickly but if I ran I might miss her.

Alice walked alongside me, not saying anything. I could hear her thoughts though. She was still getting flashes of Bella in two entirely different scenarios. It was impossible for both to coexist.

I sighed and continued walking. The smell of her blood was unbelievably strong. Usually she would smell like this when I had my nose pressed to her pulsing neck. From this distance she had to be... bleeding. She had to be bleeding badly.

I quickened my pace; if she was hurt I needed to be there to save her.

My breathing was ragged and hurried.

The scent of the blood strengthened, making the flames in my throat roar with greed. I ignored the pain and continued running. I was close.

I turned a corner on the path and saw something I am never likely to forget. Bella. She was lying on the floor, blood streaming from deep wounds across her whole body. Her eyes were staring blankly at the trees.

This horrifying sight was exactly the way Alice had seen her. I choked back a sob and ran to pick up her limp form. I pulled her against my chest and wailed, wailed for the agony of my lost love. I couldn't see anything, I heard nothing. I was somewhere else.

This couldn't be reality; nothing real could be this painful.

All I saw in the future now was the end. I had told myself a countless number of times that if Bella died I would follow her within a short amount of time.

I would stay for a few days, make an appearance at her funeral, say goodbye to my family then board the next flight to Italy. There was no meaning without her.

I blocked out all of Alice's thoughts. She was inconsolable, almost as upset as I was. I couldn't deal with double the grief.

It was strange that the idea of death didn't even scare me anymore. It was like the time that I was last in Italy. I knew that it was my time. If Bella didn't get the chance at a life, I didn't deserve one.

"Edward!" I heard Alice whisper. She didn't sound upset. It angered me, how could she sound so positive? _Bella was DEAD!_

"What?" I snarled.

"Listen," she whispered. She was now elated. How could she be acting like this?

I completed her request and decided to listen. Listen to what?

I heard a car driving along the road we had turned off, a badger rustling in a bush, birds singing and... Something else, a slow, faint thumping. A _heartbeat_.

Who did it belong to? I could smell nobody. To be fair, it was hard to smell _anything_ over Bella's blood but I'm sure I would have realised if we weren't alone. The heartbeat was weak, barely there, barely working.

I looked down at the unmoving beauty in my arms and pressed my cheek against her chest. My cheek was soaked in her blood. The fire in my throat raged even harder. Sure enough, I could hear it, the sound of a weak pulse. The sound of Bella's heart. The sound of Bella's life.

"Edward, you have to change her. She has minutes left!" Alice cried.

Change her? Could I do it? Could I take away her life?

I was a monster, I had no soul. What right did have to steal her soul?

Bella didn't love me. If I turned her into a vampire, I would only be condemning her to an eternity of loneliness. She couldn't be with the dog, not if she was one of us.

"Alice, I... I can't. What would she gain from becoming one of us? She would have no reason to exist. She couldn't be with her family or _boyfriend_," I spat the word, "She would have you but no love. Nobody to care for her. She... she doesn't want me," I heard my voice crack.

I looked down at the beautiful face which was stained with blood. A thin arm wrapped itself around my shoulder.

"Edward, she does love you-" I cut her off

"She doesn't love me! She loves _Jacob Black_!"

Alice sighed.

"You've been wondering what I've been keeping from you for a little while. Let me show you..."

Her mind replayed a scene. I recognised Bella's face. It was exactly the same as the day I had kissed her.

"_Bella, I want to know and I want you to tell me. How exactly do you feel about my brother… about Edward?" Alice asked Bella._

_My love was lying on Alice's bed, her face was stained with tears. She thought for a moment before answering. I could almost see her thoughts train together as she thought of an answer._

"_I... I think I love him,"_

The flashback ended and my hold on Bella tightened.

My panic and depression was quelled for a moment. I felt pure happiness. Nothing could bring me down, Bella LOVED me!

I knew at that moment that I couldn't let her die. I would damn her soul if I had to. Maybe she would never go to hell, she wouldn't go anywhere if she lived forever.

"Edward! You have minutes left! _Minutes_ before she dies!"

I knew it was time.

"I love you Bella," I whispered into her ear before I moved my lips down to her throat.

I kissed the skin over the pulse before I bit down.

Drops of her blood flowed into my mouth. They tasted...amazing. I wanted to stop, my mind stopped for a second. I wanted to drain every drop of blood from her body, drink from her veins until she was empty.

I inwardly kicked myself. I couldn't get distracted.

I sucked venom into my mouth and forced it through my lips and into her open vein. I licked the wound and it sealed.

I repeated this action again and again, getting as much venom into her bloodstream as possible.

I just hoped it was enough.

**BPOV**

I was lying on the floor, in agony. Jake was gone; he fled after attacking me.

I kept drifting in and out of conciousness.

I felt two cold and muscular arms wind themselves around me. I heard a gut-wrenching wail.

Then there was nothing but Darkness.

The next thing I felt was a burning. A fire was running through my veins, burning my body.

This was pain beyond the reaches of the imagination. From everything I had seen read and heard, I wouldn't have had any idea that I could ever feel this way. Death would be easier.

I didn't know what was happening. Time started to blend into nothing.

A large hand held mine, it was cold. This didn't make the fire feel any colder though.

.

.

.

.

.

I heard nothing...

.

.

.

I didn't want to open my eyes...

.

.

.

I didn't want to writhe or scream. I knew it would do nothing to ease the pain.

I lay still and waited for it all to end.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

The pain, the fire, it continued to rage through me.

I still didn't know how long I had been like this. I still didn't even know what was happening to me!

Had it been months, weeks or days since I had been without all this unbearable agony?

I wanted to open my eyes, see who was with me. I wanted to open my mouth and scream at those nearby and ask them what was going on.

I didn't.

I knew that if I moved at all I would lose control I had over myself; part of me was convinced that by staying still the pain wouldn't be so bad. However, I didn't want to test that theory.

**EPOV**

"Alice?" I whispered.

My little pixie of a sister was still sitting by my side, watching as Bella underwent this painful transformation.

_What?_ She thought

"Why isn't she moving... she should be writhing... screaming..." my voice trailed off

_Maybe she knows that it won't help. I'm still sure that she can't have forgotten _everything_ about us and our life. The memories must be inside her somewhere, maybe she just...knows. Maybe she knows what is happening to her._ She answered. Before skipping out of the room.

I shrugged and averted my gaze so they fell upon my changing love. I could already see the effects of the venom. Her skin was paler and her face was changing. I didn't think it was possible but somehow Bella was becoming even more beautiful.

I had waited 100 years to find someone I loved as much as Bella. She had been still for two days now; surely I could wait for one more.

**BPOV**

The pain had been going on for so long I hardly felt it.

Sorry, that was a lie. It was still there. And god could I feel it.

Imagine having a fiery knife cutting through every single vein artery and capillary. Then multiply the amount of pain by a thousand.

That wouldn't even be as bad as this.

Anybody would gladly choose death over this.

The pain began to lift slowly, like there was a trickle of water somewhere, putting out the flames, it started in my fingertips and my toes and gradually working its way through my body.

I was becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. I was inside but a window was open, a breeze was gently brushing my face. There was still a hand holding mine but it didn't feel cold anymore. It was the same temperature as my body.

I felt my ever beating heart begin to slow. The thumps were becoming more and more spaced out and slightly forced.

I waited and counted as the muscle pushed itself to pound seven hundred and forty-three more times. It then stuttered and stopped completely.

The pain was gone; I opened my eyes.

The world looked different. Everything was a hundred times clearer, new colours and far-off objects had textures I had never seen before.

I could hear more things as well, cars rushing by on the road, someone's phone buzz and the shallow breaths of someone else in the room.

Slowly, I sat up. I was sitting on a large, comfortable bed in...Edward's room!

Why was I here?

I looked to my right at the person who was still holding onto my hand.

I followed the white arm upwards with my eyes until I saw its owner: Edward. With my improved vision, I noticed that he was a million times more beautiful than I had ever realised.

One thing took me by surprise, his eyes. They were filled with guilt and...apology.

I leaned towards him and gripped his hand tighter. He leaned back slightly.

Usually this type of rejection would have brought tears to my eyes but none came, they continued to remain normal.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the far wall and took a double take. The reflection had to be me. The woman was sitting where I was and I guess she looked a little like me but there was one main difference: she was breathtakingly beautiful!

I turned back to Edward. And he was smiling.

"Like what you see?" he smiled. It didn't reach his eyes.

"What's happened to me?"I whispered.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted this to happen to you. You were going to _die_! I wouldn't let that happen. So I did it. I...I changed you," he looked at his feet and began to fidget.

I had a dim recollection of the conversation with Jake before I was...changed. He had said the Cullens were vampires. It sounded ridiculous at the time.

I decided it would be better to ask, even if it was a really stupid question.

"Am I... am I a v-vampire?" I questioned.

Edward's eyes tightened and he gasped.

"How did you know?" he breathed.

"It was a guess but Jake-" he stopped me by interrupting.

"The _stupid_ dog!" he snarled and leapt up.

I was confused by this and I made no effort to disguise it.

"Can't you see," his voice was softer but still urgent, "It was his fault! He _attacked_ you and then left you for dead!"

Once again, I tried to cry but no tears came.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered.

I knew that this wasn't the best time to say such a thing but I had no control!

"You...you what?" he asked, stepping towards me.

"You heard me, Edward. I love you."

He pulled me into his arms. They weren't as cold and hard as I was used to but instead they were warm and muscular. He buried his cheek into my hair and kissed the top of my head. I pulled my arms tighter around him and looked up at his face.

He mimicked this action and sighed.

"I love you too, Bella. More than anyone could possibly imagine. You are the reason for my life, the reason I exist."

He leaned forwards, closing the space between us. Our lips met somewhere in the middle and he kissed me with a passion that I gladly returned.

Being this close to him, our lips moving in synch with each other brought me feelings of strange familiarity.

Scenes flashed before my mind's eye and I gasped. Everything made sense.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**BPOV**

A beautiful meadow...

Running through a town square in Italy...

Blood red eyes of new born vampires...

The soprano laugh of a woman with red hair who had the intent of killing me...

A ballet studio...

The beautiful face of the man I loved...

"Bella?" Edward asked when he heard me gasp, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes I think so. I'm just a bit...overwhelmed..." I whispered.

"What's happened?" his voice was flooded with concern.

"I re- How could I ever have forgotten?" I smiled

Alice burst into the room at that second at threw herself onto me. I was so taken aback that I fell backwards onto the bed. She was hugging me tightly and kissing my cheek, completely ecstatic.

"You remember don't you?" she screamed, the widest smile I had ever seen spread across her beautiful face.

Why not tease her a little?

"Remember what?" I giggled.

Her smile faded into a pout and she dropped her arms from around me. She looked crestfallen.

I laughed and her expression changed from dejection to confusion.

"You should have seen this one coming!" I laughed again and her smile immediately reappeared.

"You _do_ remember me! This is going to make matters so much easier," she suddenly scowled and hit me in the arm.

"What was that for?" I yelped. For a little person, she was exceedingly strong!

"For tricking me!" she replied, sticking her tongue out.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist from behind me.

I turned around and saw Edward, a smiling even wider than Alice. I returned the smile and snuggled into him, my head resting at the crook of his neck.

He rested his chin on the top of my head and bent down to kiss my hair. I tilted my head upwards and lightly kissed his lips. When I pulled away, he was smiling my favourite crooked grin.

"So... you remember me, my love?" he said, his voice filled with joy.

"That I do," I said, feeling as much joy as I knew he did.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I was thinking our meadow?" he asked.

I nodded and disentangled myself from his arms. I took his hand and began to run.

It was my first experience of moving at vampire speed but I loved it. The wind rushing past my face and my surroundings blurring into streaks of colour only intensified my excitement.

Even with my newborn strength, I wasn't faster than Edward. He led the way to our special place.

When we had finished running through the trees, he threw himself onto the grass and held out his arms, a motion for me to join him. I gladly obliged.

We lay there without talking for a long time. He played with my hair and hummed the tune that I now remembered to be my lullaby.

I twisted in his arms so that I was facing him. Our faces were dangerously close until he leant forwards by millimetres and closed the empty space by crushing his lips against mine. His kisses were a thousand times better than I had ever remembered.

We lay there, our lips moving together hungrily until I smelt something disgusting. It was like wet dog and something else that I didn't recognise. I wrinkled my nose and turned my head to stare at Edward's striking face. He opened his eyes and I saw his nose twitch in disgust.

He turned his head in the direction that the offending odour was coming from and his eyes narrowed. I was scared to look so I hid my head in his chest. I heard him growl menacingly.

"What do you want _dog_?" he spat.

I lifted my head as I felt his grip tighten around me. I shifted my gaze so I was looking in the same direction as the perfect man beside me.

Emerging from the trees was a tall man with shoulder-length black hair. He wore only a ripped pair of khaki shorts, showing off his tanned, muscular chest.

"I only want to talk," he said, forcing his voice to remain calm.

Of course I had recognised the man at once. It was Jacob Black.

I felt myself snarl quietly. This was the person that I had trusted and _loved_! He had left me for _dead_ in the middle of a forest. I narrowed my eyes and tried to sit up; I couldn't because Edward's grip was now so tight that it was impossible to move.

"What is there to talk about?" I snarled

"B-Bella," he stammered, "I never meant for this to happen...You made me angry and I...I _snapped_ then I realised what I had done: I'd _hurt_ you! So I ran away! I know I was so stupid but when I went back for you, you weren't there..." his voice trailed into nothingness.

I was angry now. How could he have been so thoughtless?

I used all my strength to force Edward's arms off me and I charged at Jake. I didn't care how much his scent repulsed me, I wanted to tear him limb from limb. It was _all_ his fault!

If he hadn't have been so selfish, maybe I would have remembered Edward straight away! I knew that with Edward I would never have been left for dead or attacked. Edward was _careful_ around me; I knew that he had always put himself into unbearable agony when we were close just so that I would be safe. Edward was a gentleman: he never walked around groping my ass like Jake did.

I guess Edward was just more thoughtful and mature.

If it wasn't for Jake I wouldn't be a vampire yet. I would have had the opportunity to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee, to give them a proper departure. That was out of the question now; I looked too different and I knew that being in the same room as them would make the fire that was already burning in the back of my throat burst into a new life.

I was centimetres away from Jake when Edward's arms locked themselves around my waist. I tried to push myself away from them, snapping my jaw and straining against his hold on me.

Jake stood there in front of me with a look of horror across his face. I guess he just expected me to forgive him? Well, he was wrong.

I felt Edward pull me against his chest where he kissed my cheek. It was like a pulsation of calm was emitted from the spot where his lips met my cool skin which then spread through my entire body. I relaxed but still continued to glare at the scared-looking teenager in front of me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before sprinting off into the trees.

**JPOV**

I felt horrible. Watching the hate in her face as she tried to attack me was ripping my insides apart, causing my world to crumble.

That's why I didn't move when she tried to kill me. I deserved every single bit of the pain she was going to inflict on me.

I guess I had been so selfish. All along I had known somewhere inside me that she'd wanted Edward but I had to try and tell myself that she'd come around and see the light that was me.

I laughed inwardly at my naivety. Of course that was never going to happen.

I saw her lurching towards me and I flinched, waiting for the impact that was never going to come. When I opened my eyes, the bloodsucker was holing my Bella, calming her down.

I knew that I had overstayed my welcome in this meadow.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before turning and sprinting into the trees.

As soon as I knew I was out of their sight, I removed my clothes and phased into a wolf.

It was time to run, time to escape.

(2 months later)

I had been living in the wild for a long time now.

My dad knew where I was – I had called and said that I wouldn't be coming home for a while. Right now I was in a small town near Vancouver, Canada.

I was roaming up and down the high street, not intending to enter a shop, just walking around and wallowing in my own self pity.

I saw a bench which faced a shop front.

I sat for a while, watching as the people entered and exited.

The sun began to set and slowly, the crowds became smaller and smaller. I looked at the clock tower and noticed that it was half five: closing time.

I lay back and let my head droop over the back of the bench. I could now see the shop behind me: a clothes shop. The manager was chasing a girl of around sixteen out of the doors.

She turned and looked at me, her expression was one of annoyance. She was beautiful. She had straight blonde hair that fell down to the middle of her back. Her skin was tanned and her cheeks pink.

I felt an unfamiliar feeling, something I had never experienced. I was floating, a balloon. Nothing was holding me down except from the one tie. Her. I didn't even know her name but I needed to get to know her.

I sat up and shifted so I could see her properly. She began to march down past the rows of shops, struggling with her many bags. I stared as she began to walk into the distance.

Suddenly, the girl tripped and her bags flew everywhere. I leapt from my bench and sprinted to her side. I held out my hand to help her up which she gladly accepted.

"Hi," I said, "I'm Jake"

"Danielle," she shook my hand smiled.

I grinned back and still didn't let go of her delicate hand.

_Hang on_ I thought _I think I'm in love._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18**

**BPOV**

A beautiful meadow...

Running through a town square in Italy...

Blood red eyes of new born vampires...

The soprano laugh of a woman with red hair who had the intent of killing me...

A ballet studio...

The beautiful face of the man I loved...

"Bella?" Edward asked when he heard me gasp, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes I think so. I'm just a bit...overwhelmed..." I whispered.

"What's happened?" his voice was flooded with concern.

"I re- How could I ever have forgotten?" I smiled

Alice burst into the room at that second at threw herself onto me. I was so taken aback that I fell backwards onto the bed. She was hugging me tightly and kissing my cheek, completely ecstatic.

"You remember don't you?" she screamed, the widest smile I had ever seen spread across her beautiful face.

Why not tease her a little?

"Remember what?" I giggled.

Her smile faded into a pout and she dropped her arms from around me. She looked crestfallen.

I laughed and her expression changed from dejection to confusion.

"You should have seen this one coming!" I laughed again and her smile immediately reappeared.

"You _do_ remember me! This is going to make matters so much easier," she suddenly scowled and hit me in the arm.

"What was that for?" I yelped. For a little person, she was exceedingly strong!

"For tricking me!" she replied, sticking her tongue out.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist from behind me.

I turned around and saw Edward, a smiling even wider than Alice. I returned the smile and snuggled into him, my head resting at the crook of his neck.

He rested his chin on the top of my head and bent down to kiss my hair. I tilted my head upwards and lightly kissed his lips. When I pulled away, he was smiling my favourite crooked grin.

"So... you remember me, my love?" he said, his voice filled with joy.

"That I do," I said, feeling as much joy as I knew he did.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I was thinking our meadow?" he asked.

I nodded and disentangled myself from his arms. I took his hand and began to run.

It was my first experience of moving at vampire speed but I loved it. The wind rushing past my face and my surroundings blurring into streaks of colour only intensified my excitement.

Even with my newborn strength, I wasn't faster than Edward. He led the way to our special place.

When we had finished running through the trees, he threw himself onto the grass and held out his arms, a motion for me to join him. I gladly obliged.

We lay there without talking for a long time. He played with my hair and hummed the tune that I now remembered to be my lullaby.

I twisted in his arms so that I was facing him. Our faces were dangerously close until he leant forwards by millimetres and closed the empty space by crushing his lips against mine. His kisses were a thousand times better than I had ever remembered.

We lay there, our lips moving together hungrily until I smelt something disgusting. It was like wet dog and something else that I didn't recognise. I wrinkled my nose and turned my head to stare at Edward's striking face. He opened his eyes and I saw his nose twitch in disgust.

He turned his head in the direction that the offending odour was coming from and his eyes narrowed. I was scared to look so I hid my head in his chest. I heard him growl menacingly.

"What do you want _dog_?" he spat.

I lifted my head as I felt his grip tighten around me. I shifted my gaze so I was looking in the same direction as the perfect man beside me.

Emerging from the trees was a tall man with shoulder-length black hair. He wore only a ripped pair of khaki shorts, showing off his tanned, muscular chest.

"I only want to talk," he said, forcing his voice to remain calm.

Of course I had recognised the man at once. It was Jacob Black.

I felt myself snarl quietly. This was the person that I had trusted and _loved_! He had left me for _dead_ in the middle of a forest. I narrowed my eyes and tried to sit up; I couldn't because Edward's grip was now so tight that it was impossible to move.

"What is there to talk about?" I snarled

"B-Bella," he stammered, "I never meant for this to happen...You made me angry and I...I _snapped_ then I realised what I had done: I'd _hurt_ you! So I ran away! I know I was so stupid but when I went back for you, you weren't there..." his voice trailed into nothingness.

I was angry now. How could he have been so thoughtless?

I used all my strength to force Edward's arms off me and I charged at Jake. I didn't care how much his scent repulsed me, I wanted to tear him limb from limb. It was _all_ his fault!

If he hadn't have been so selfish, maybe I would have remembered Edward straight away! I knew that with Edward I would never have been left for dead or attacked. Edward was _careful_ around me; I knew that he had always put himself into unbearable agony when we were close just so that I would be safe. Edward was a gentleman: he never walked around groping my ass like Jake did.

I guess Edward was just more thoughtful and mature.

If it wasn't for Jake I wouldn't be a vampire yet. I would have had the opportunity to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee, to give them a proper departure. That was out of the question now; I looked too different and I knew that being in the same room as them would make the fire that was already burning in the back of my throat burst into a new life.

I was centimetres away from Jake when Edward's arms locked themselves around my waist. I tried to push myself away from them, snapping my jaw and straining against his hold on me.

Jake stood there in front of me with a look of horror across his face. I guess he just expected me to forgive him? Well, he was wrong.

I felt Edward pull me against his chest where he kissed my cheek. It was like a pulsation of calm was emitted from the spot where his lips met my cool skin which then spread through my entire body. I relaxed but still continued to glare at the scared-looking teenager in front of me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before sprinting off into the trees.

**JPOV**

I felt horrible. Watching the hate in her face as she tried to attack me was ripping my insides apart, causing my world to crumble.

That's why I didn't move when she tried to kill me. I deserved every single bit of the pain she was going to inflict on me.

I guess I had been so selfish. All along I had known somewhere inside me that she'd wanted Edward but I had to try and tell myself that she'd come around and see the light that was me.

I laughed inwardly at my naivety. Of course that was never going to happen.

I saw her lurching towards me and I flinched, waiting for the impact that was never going to come. When I opened my eyes, the bloodsucker was holing my Bella, calming her down.

I knew that I had overstayed my welcome in this meadow.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before turning and sprinting into the trees.

As soon as I knew I was out of their sight, I removed my clothes and phased into a wolf.

It was time to run, time to escape.

(2 months later)

I had been living in the wild for a long time now.

My dad knew where I was – I had called and said that I wouldn't be coming home for a while. Right now I was in a small town near Vancouver, Canada.

I was roaming up and down the high street, not intending to enter a shop, just walking around and wallowing in my own self pity.

I saw a bench which faced a shop front.

I sat for a while, watching as the people entered and exited.

The sun began to set and slowly, the crowds became smaller and smaller. I looked at the clock tower and noticed that it was half five: closing time.

I lay back and let my head droop over the back of the bench. I could now see the shop behind me: a clothes shop. The manager was chasing a girl of around sixteen out of the doors.

She turned and looked at me, her expression was one of annoyance. She was beautiful. She had straight blonde hair that fell down to the middle of her back. Her skin was tanned and her cheeks pink.

I felt an unfamiliar feeling, something I had never experienced. I was floating, a balloon. Nothing was holding me down except from the one tie. Her. I didn't even know her name but I needed to get to know her.

I sat up and shifted so I could see her properly. She began to march down past the rows of shops, struggling with her many bags. I stared as she began to walk into the distance.

Suddenly, the girl tripped and her bags flew everywhere. I leapt from my bench and sprinted to her side. I held out my hand to help her up which she gladly accepted.

"Hi," I said, "I'm Jake"

"Danielle," she shook my hand smiled.

I grinned back and still didn't let go of her delicate hand.

_Hang on_ I thought _I think I'm in love._


End file.
